As I've said many a time, but will say again for new readers, I live in Burton-Conner. In Burton-Conner we have kitchens, kitchens for cooking our own food, if we so choose. Many people embrace the kitchens and cook almost all of their meals there. I'm not very cooking-inclined, nor do I really feel like learning right away, so I don't use the kitchens very often. This story, however, doesn't concern me, it concerns the girl across the hall.

Sara '12 is also a resident of Conner 2. You may remember her from giant fish fame.

She also doesn't cook. In fact, I think she and I are the only two who don't even really own dishes, we just use disposable dishes. Anyway, I make no secrets about not cooking. James '11 will be the first to tell you that the day he saw me cooking corned beef hash was one of the most miraculous days ever. Sara, however, still "pretends" to cook.

Sara's menu consists of two items, soup and cereal, both of which she fills too full. People on the floor who do cook, however, know that Sara is bluffing, that soup and cereal doesn't count as real cooking (as much as she says it does). Teasing and taunting happens (all in good fun of course), but Sara stands by her soup and cereal. One day, the taunting and the teasing came to a head.

Sara misspoke one day, and Yuki, one of the most active kitchen-monkeys on the floor thought he heard her say that she burnt her cereal. Not oatmeal, not soup, but cereal. He couldn't believe it, so he asked her. . .

"Did you just say you burnt your cereal?" Believing he was kidding, Sara responded in jest.
"Oh, yeah, oops."
"H- how?"

This is a critical time for both Sara and Yuki. This is when Sara realized Yuki believed her, and when Yuki realized he could hold this against her forever. Sara wasn't thrilled, Yuki was ecstatic.

Soon the entire floor knew about Sara burning her cereal and there were rumors abound about how it may have happened. Let's be honest, burning cereal isn't easy. We figured we could figure it out, but in the end, we realized that in order to burn cereal Sara must have been a spectacularly bad cook.

Time passed, the incident was generally forgotten, except for the occasional jab when she was spotted walking extremely slowly with a very full bowl of cereal. Then, one day, the most magnificent picture on the internet was discovered.

Click for image

Words . . . Cannot . . . Describe

Comments (Closed after 30 days to reduce spam)

zomg first post.

hahaha good times, good times

Posted by: Sauza '11 on July 19, 2009

There is truly a Simpsons reference for everything. Amazing.

Posted by: cristen on July 19, 2009

HAHAHA! That's hilarious! Poor Sara

Posted by: Chris M. on July 19, 2009

lol ...hilarious

Posted by: anonymous on July 19, 2009

lol......
poor sara

Posted by: navin on July 19, 2009

Hehe, sounds like me, kinda...

Cereal FTW! :D

Posted by: VAL on July 19, 2009

Awww maaan! Way to break it to Yuki

next up: water

Posted by: sara '12 on July 19, 2009

sorry, not funny =/

Posted by: '11 on July 19, 2009

don't worry sara, i almost burned my house down with 'EASY'mac once...

Posted by: 0 on July 19, 2009

How to burn cereal:

1) put Cream of Wheat in a pan with insufficient water
2) turn burner on high
3) do NOT stir at all ever
4) when the toast detector goes off, reminding you of the scorched goo on the stove, pull it's battery

You can achieve this in a microwave too but the recipe is more.. well.. technical.

Posted by: Good cook on July 19, 2009

On "Important things with Demetri Martin", there's a part in the opening where he sets cereal on fire. I tried to find a picture, but I had no luck.

Posted by: Dorothy on July 19, 2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pONdKYbmOV0

Posted by: 0 on July 19, 2009

Snively and Sara, please get some real dishes. All you need is a couple of bucks and a Wal-mart. The planet doesn't like you very much right now.
Not to sound stuck up or anything, just a friendly reminder in case you hadn't thought about this.

Posted by: 0 on July 19, 2009

I bet adding a block of sodium can help burn the cereal.

Posted by: shawn '11 on July 19, 2009

@Anonymous
I live 3,000 miles away from campus and don't always stay there. Frankly, I don't want to have to dishes, pack kitchen stuff, keep track of it, and fight to get it back from other people. Freshman year I had dishes and it was too much of an ordeal. For 3 years I have decided to kill the planet. I consume, in a year, what just 2 frat BBQs consume during Rush. Complain to them to use their real dishes.

That, and there is no walmart.

Posted by: Snively on July 19, 2009

For Sara's b'day she needs a fire extinguisher - just in case things go terribly wrong.

Posted by: las1 on July 20, 2009

Disposable dishes! As a fellow 3000-mile traveler from an equally "earth-conscious" part of the country, paper plates sound like a fantastically convenient idea. Thanks!

Posted by: Claire '13 on July 20, 2009

Disposable dishes? For real? Honestly, it takes almost no space to have one plate, one bowl, a fork, a spoon, and a mug. And you can even get unbreakable or plastic stuff - it's so inexpensive that you could throw away your one plate and bowl at the end of the year if it took too much space to ship.

Posted by: Current Student on July 20, 2009

Well, often you shouldn't microwave plastic, but melamine might be good...

Posted by: 0 on July 21, 2009

S8fHXb odfBxZakGhH3v96M2Qsk

Posted by: samuel on July 22, 2009

LMAO.

i think i'll be another bad cook living in BC.

i do recall burning ramen in the microwave cause i neglected to add water.

oh boy .

Posted by: jenny'13 on July 23, 2009

Burning cereal? I think someone confused the the recipe for Ramen with the recipe for cereal. And forgot the water too.

Posted by: 0 on July 25, 2009

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