I took a picture today that pretty well reflects the mood around this place at the end of finals week.

Last night there was a dance party. Today,

all gone, gone, gone.
I woke up this morning to a quiet snowstorm outside my window. So I sat in bed for an hour watching it. The light outside was grey and a bit yellow and when it deepened to blue I went for a walk.
Freshman year I made a big deal about having a final on my birthday.
Then sophomore year I had 2 finals on my birthday.
Junior year I turned 21 the day before my 8.05 final, studied til about 4am and didn't even notice when it stopped being my birthday.
This year it was 8.09 in the afternoon, then 8.07 all night and in the morning. I answered my mom's birthday phone call in the Hayden Library staircase. And then remembered I hadn't eaten all day.
You know that sense of entitlement that we're accustomed to on our birthdays? Well, I think I've lost that a while ago, but in its place is a sense of accomplishment. Every year understanding a little better, every year drawing a little closer to a defining something that might pave way for the rest of my life. I got my first shot at teaching, impressed some unimpressionable people, finally really learned to speak the language of E&M. I think more importantly, I'm creeping closer to the all important yet elusive conviction that I'm doing right by me, that I can hold my own. I'm beginning to really take pride in my work and in what I'm capable of. And maybe one of these days I can finally shake the self-doubt that plagues so many women who've found themselves doing the things only men were supposed to do.
Here's hoping. Either way, happy birthday to me.

Comments (Closed after 30 days to reduce spam)
Posted by: mm on December 20, 2008
Posted by: lulu on December 20, 2008
Posted by: Aditya on December 20, 2008
Posted by: 0 on December 20, 2008
Posted by: Dhvanit on December 20, 2008
Posted by: 0 on December 20, 2008
Posted by: Bridger '13 on December 20, 2008
Posted by: Suril on December 20, 2008
newaz,
I hope even grad. students have to face such "unluckiness" 'cause even i wanna face 'em when I come here(MIT) for my M.S......(ohhh by the way,I'm doin' my Bachelor of Technology in Computer Science and Engineering from IIT Bombay(thats Indian Institute of Technology,hope ur aware of it !!!))..............
ohhhh... and one more thing....
"HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY" ......
Posted by: Vijay Prateik on December 20, 2008
also, I live in EC and yes we're allowed pets. cats & small rodent-like animals. no dogs
Posted by: lulu on December 20, 2008
Posted by: saad(bahawlpur pakistan) on December 20, 2008
Posted by: '12 parent on December 20, 2008
Happy belated!
Posted by: Stacy on December 20, 2008
Posted by: '13 on December 20, 2008
Posted by: Reena on December 20, 2008
Oh, and I totally love your room =]
Posted by: Banerjee on December 20, 2008
Posted by: Pranav on December 20, 2008
My 17th wasn't like that at all...infact I went out and did the silliest thing that I could...some stress relief, that was :D
Posted by: Ahana on December 20, 2008
And it's awesome that you can keep a pet in dorms! Btw, your cat is soooooo cute! ^_^
Posted by: Sheila on December 20, 2008
@ Suril: Gotta hate it when the year is a multiple of 100 but not a multiple of 400. No birthday in that case.
@ Ahana: My 17th was nothing like that that. I was sick.
Posted by: Colton on December 20, 2008
Posted by: deng on December 20, 2008
Posted by: MTM on December 20, 2008
Posted by: 0 on December 21, 2008
Please reply.
Posted by: AK on December 21, 2008
if you're already enrolled you have to apply as a transfer you're not allowed freshman status.
Posted by: lulu on December 21, 2008
Should I directly send the transfer form by mail or do I first need to create an account?Will my MY MIT account do?
Also that which you have stated applies to MIT only or to all the US colleges?
Posted by: 0 on December 21, 2008
Should I directly send the transfer form by mail or do I first need to create an account?Will my MY MIT account do?
Also that which you have stated applies to MIT only or to all the US colleges?
Posted by: AK on December 21, 2008
Posted by: AK on December 21, 2008
Belated Happy Birthday!!!
Posted by: AK on December 21, 2008
Posted by: AK on December 21, 2008
but this page does
http://web.mit.edu/admissions/transfer/index.html
and thanks for all the birthday wishes. how ironic. lol
Posted by: lulu on December 21, 2008
Posted by: 0 on December 21, 2008
Posted by: lulu on December 21, 2008
thanks lulu. youre sacrifice is very admirable and inspiring.
Posted by: June on December 23, 2008
Posted by: 0 on December 24, 2008
Posted by: ginshinran on January 3, 2009
Happy belated birthday............!!
Posted by: SRV on January 10, 2009
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