i will meet zendaya even if it’s the death of me by Aiden H. '28

I’ve always been a little bit of a hypochondriac, and while that is probably connected to a lot of deeper things than this blog can go into, there is one clear trend: I hate being sick.

I hate the idea of not being as productive as possible, I hate the idea of not being able to do something, and I hate having to just suffer without immediate solutions.

My first couple months at MIT have tested this patience immensely.  My second weekend here, a whole four days before classes started, I got COVID for the first time. And yet again, when I woke up this Wednesday morning with the taste of death lodged in the back of my hot, sticky throat, I was devastated. It was the common cold, which is, dare I say, the most passive aggressive illness because it’s not bad enough that you have reason to complain but it is enough to make you dysfunctional.

And as I much as I hate being sick, this illness was notably bad for two reasons:

#1: Zendaya

I am a lifelong, ride-or-die Zendaya fan. Not that bad that I know her exact location or have a poster of her on my wall, but just underneath that.

I try not to gatekeep things I like from others, but some of y’all act like you’re serious Zendaya fans when I have been there since day one. I’m talking Shake It Up days. I’m talking KC Undercover. I’m talking I watched Disney Channel longer than I should have for Zendaya. Of course I’ve kept up with the more recent stuff, too (Spider-man, Dune, Challengers, Euphoria).

At any point in my life if you asked who my celebrity crush was, the answer was Zendaya. If I could meet anyone dead or alive? Zendaya. Have dinner with any celebrity? Zendaya. Favorite song? Replay by Zendaya.⁠01 Okay not really but remember this song?? crazy What’s my favorite movie? Zendaya.

Well, Zendaya is in Boston on and off until December filming the new Ari Aster⁠02 Director of Hereditary and Midsommar, aka some of my favorite movies. movie with Robert Pattinson. So when I received very vital intel⁠03 according to Jeremy Wednesday morning that Zendaya was in Cambridge, I (emotionally) imploded. This was coupled with my later Google stalking that found Zendaya was directly across the river on Newbury Street⁠04 A popular shopping destination/mall/street that is like a 10-15 minute walk from MIT across the bridge. the night before just walking around and shopping.

This is the most statistically likely time I will ever meet Zendaya. If we tragically rule out

A) me becoming a superstar and meeting her through Hollywood connections

B) me moving to London and “accidentally” becoming neighbors with her and Tom Holland

C) Spider-Man 4 both filming scenes with Zendaya and Ned at MIT and allowing students on the parts of campus where they’re filming

then now is my time to strike.

But naturally, as both a good person and someone who isn’t camera ready when they are sick, I could never risk going out to hunt down stumble upon Zendaya when I can barely speak, look like a blobfish, and can infect her.

This sickness feels like a test. In a lot of ways, the universe puts me in a weird situation (casually living blocks from Zendaya for two months) and then takes me away from it. This is just what being sick has always felt like. As soon as I start to enjoy something or get my life figured out, everything just crashes down for a couple days, leaving me to overthink in bed. It happened as soon as I moved here, and it is happening again.

#2: The being sick part

Okay not super original but I just hate being sick. Most of the time I just lie and act like I’m not sick and just go about my normal things because I would rather suffer than lay in bed and do nothing.⁠05 Clarification: laying in bed and doing nothing is great and relaxing IF you feel good. Laying in bed and feeling awful is torture.

Being sick in a dorm is (drumroll, please)…even worse! Now I’m afraid of both getting my two roommates sick and being annoying with my incessant melodrama about my woes. Most of the time not having my own room here hasn’t been that torturous, but it’s the moments like these that it’s very apparent that rotting in bed alone is a privilege, not a right.

So to distract myself from existential thoughts and complaining, here’s a list of everything I frantically jumped around between doing:

• Monsters: The Lyle and Erik Menendez Story

I devoured this show in a disgusting amount of time, but it’s not without reason. First, it’s almost Halloween so duh I’m gonna watch the most twisted stuff. Second, it’s a Ryan Murphy show, and ever since watching Glee and American Horror Story in 6th grade, I will forever try every show he makes. Third, I actually have very (mild) lore about the Menendez brothers. Because I was a little freak in my formative years, I had my true crime kick a lot earlier than everyone else. I was in 7th grade just obsessing over true crime documentaries, which is when my mom told me about the Menendez brothers. So the next time I was in L.A. I definitely made people go out of their way to take my to their house so I could see it. Ever since then we’ve been mildly connected (though, as a Coloradan, Jonbenet Ramsey is the best true crime story). Nonetheless, great show.

• Chappell Roan’s Lollapalooza Set

Every YouTube rabbit hole eventually leads me to live concert videos of my favorite artists, and for some reason this time it meant me watching Chappell Roan’s entire Lollapalooza set for a second time.

I fume every time at how good it is because I tried to go to Lollapalooza this year (spent pretty much all my money on tickets and flights and hotel rooms with people from high school I barely knew) only to find out the day after I spent all the money that I didn’t get Lollapalooza tickets, but that they had put me on an “official waitlist”. I got a full refund but that can never ease heartbreak like this.

• Tyler, the Creator’s Chromakopia album rollout

At the time of editing, Tyler’s new album comes out in two days and naturally I’m tweaking. But of course, as Ticketmaster once again proves its personal vendetta against me, I was not chosen for the verified presale. It doesn’t matter though, because Tyler’s tour manager also hates me! (he’s in Denver in February but Boston in July, so the exact wrong times)

• Halsey’s The Great Impersonator

I was not a Halsey fan growing up during her rise, but when she released her rock album If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power with Trent Reznor, I fell in love with it. The new album is still kinda rock-based in a 2000s Evanescence and Avril Lavigne way that reminds me of the music I would put on my boombox when I was 5. My favorites are Ego, Dog Years, and Lonely Is The Muse.

• Every New York Times Game

Like any good addict, these are the very first things I do when I wake up in the morning. The Connections has been awful recently though.

• This blog

Okay I’m gonna go take more DayQuil.