just one more gnome game by Ellie F. '28
it will fix me
About a week ago, I was ensnared Google Gnome, courtesy of my quasi-roommate Cyan (it’s complicated but actually not. but I won’t elaborate though). She’s been playing for about a month, while the rest of my roommates (one of which is my actual roommate) play Hollow Knight Silksong. We were all in my room (along with my ex-roommate-in-law ??) when it struck.
Google Gnome Game and its consequences
have been a disaster for my productivity. I wake up and play gnome game. I finish writing up a proof and give myself five minutes of gnome game as a little treat. I keep introducing my friends to gnome game. My protege Joy is something of a prodigy, achieving the coveted 3k score within her first night of playing.
this is from my inciting roommate Cyan
Here is are some of my achievements in gnome game.
My current forward record is 3278, and my backward record is -143. Cyan’s records (and the best scores I’ve seen in person yet) are 3393 and -157. However, I’ve seen incredibly impressive runs by people online that go into the 10k region. Also, once my roommate managed to get a gnome stuck in a perfect up-down position and could only bounce extremely high. That was cool.
The people cannot stop talking about gnome game
“its always surprising how much you can play around and experiment in such a small game” -Cyan
Gnome become real
In fact, as of writing (but not as of posting), it is Cyan’s birthday! As a present, my boyfriend and I sculpted her favorite gnome from the game.
Turns out, my (real) roommate had the same idea! She draw this beautiful custom sticker of the favored gnome.
stickergnome!
Happy birthday Cyan! And reader, if you choose to take on the mantle of the gnome game, let me know how the journey fares.
SPOILERS AHEAD!!! (map details; strategies)
Any player of the game will quickly pick up on the main elements of this skill-based game. The only control is the space button, which accelerates the gnome downwards and has a cooldown (I will call these boosts). Mushrooms are bouncy, clouds provide some lift, and butterflies make you float at an unnatural and somewhat disturbing pace. On the other hand, mud has the power to get you stuck and almost always ends a run. But likely the most powerful tool in the game is the log cannon, which launches you very far very quickly. Getting into one can save a dying run, and timing boosts to enter logs is an essential skill to have.
Going forward, I will refer to the large pink gnome pictured above as the “best gnome”. If you have issues with this we can discuss in the comments.
Logs
When attempting to enter a log, the best strategy is to go in at a low angle, to reduce the chance of bouncing over the log. So, if I’m bouncing high near the log entrance, I try to wait until my bounces are smaller to advance into the log.
There are a few notable logs. For the casual player, the first goal is to get into the log at 47. There are also logs at 204 and 362 that always exist (Cyan has these memorized). However, by using the best gnome, one could wait a bit longer while in the catapult to get launched backwards. At -28, there exists a log (the “back log”) that launches the gnome about 500 forwards (“THE LOG AT -30 IS OP” -Joy), which skips a lot of the early gameplay and provides incredible momentum for the rest of the run. With the back log, I have been able to achieve 1500+ distances without touching my keyboard beyond the initial launch.
Rolling
When your gnome runs out of momentum, rolling is the only way to keep the run alive, usually through the hope that you can stagger your way to a log. The best gnome, by virtue of being the roundest, is best able to roll, as the pointier ones are often stuck on their sides. The best time to use a boost is usually when the top of the gnome’s left shoulder is down towards to ground, as the angle pushes the gnome forwards. This also works for other orientations of the gnome with a similar angle to the ground, but they’re harder to time correctly. It is also worth noting that gnomes are biased to go forwards, so if you just barely overshot a log, tough luck.
Map
There are many interesting features of the map. One, as mentioned, is the existence of the powerful back log. If a gnome bounces high enough, you can reach the stars, where gnome constellations live. Progression becomes extremely limited due to the “3k Mudfield”, which describes the muddy, godless wastes of the map beyond 3000. However, extremely skilled players can build up enough momentum to bounce out of the mud, and somewhere around 4500, the map simply ends (“The Far Lands”), and players can fall through the “ground” and gain distance until they lose all forward velocity (air resistance? floating point errors? cause is uncertain).
Similarly, players can also see the other extreme of the map. By launching from the catapult backwards and timing a boost on the back log, a gnome can bounce backwards into a region where the ground is not rendered but is simply cyan (haha like Cyan).
I can only aspire to be as talented at Gnome Game as Cyan
Anyways, I’m back to playing gnome game now. Sorry if this blog destroys your productivity >:)