parallels or juxtapositions by Veronica P. '27
in one sitting at flour cafe
a year and a half ago i got offered a position as a blogger and i said no. half a year ago i got offered a position as a blogger and i said yes. today i feel very sylvia plath all the figs rotting off the tree and i am running out of time. when i was in barcelona, i talked about how happy i was that life felt like an abundant tree of gleaming vibrant fruit, beckoning for me to reach out and grab them. it seems every semester i tell myself i am as busy as can be, and then the next semester i make myself busier. when i have a bad day, i buy myself a coffee to make it better. when i’m having a good day, i buy myself a coffee to celebrate. last spring, i was emailing my advisor telling them i felt lost, and they told me i may be a scientist, not an engineer at heart. this fall i was in an engineering class that pushed my brain in satisfying ways that validated my place here. this spring, i am in an engineering class that has pushed my brain in frustrating ways that make me question my place here. one of the most sure things about sophomore year is my friends at this school. one of the most uncertain things about freshman year was my friends at this school. last february it was a good day if i got out of bed before noon. this february i’m up at 8 am every day of the week. last spring i wanted to do something substantial over the summer but couldn’t get myself to decide what that was; i promised myself i would be better next year. this spring i was seated at a dinner where everyone went around the table sharing their summer plans and when it was finally my turn i still drew a blank. i couldn’t believe i was almost 25% of the way through my time here. i can’t believe i’m almost 50% of the way through my time here. i felt like i could be doing more. i feel like i’m doing all that i can, but maybe not the right things. i wish i could just see myself a year from now. i’m not sure whether i want me from a year ago to see me now. i just wanted spring to arrive. i’ve learned you can’t always just wait for spring to arrive.