being bad at ice skating by Janet G. '27

Boston autumns are beautiful, golden, apple-flavoured, short-lived. I blinked, and suddenly the trees have shed their leaves, flecks of snow have infiltrated the rain, and people have replaced tshirts with puffer jackets.

It never gets this cold where I’m from. I distinctly remember getting excited those few days when I’d wake up to frosty dewdrops on the grass at home, so my first Boston snow felt like a real treat. I also learned the same lessons that everyone from snow-heavy towns learned: wear gloves and scarves and beanies to protect your extremities, watch your step, and MAKE SNOW ANGELS AND HAVE A SNOWBALL FIGHT. If you’re cool like Allison you can even make an igloo with your friends. ⁠01 so the funny story here is that when i initially wrote this i didn't realize that allison hadn't posted her igloo post yet... sometimes procrastination works out in your favour

i was so joyous… little did i know how annoying snow would get

Anyway, it’s not even that snowy yet. [note: i wrote this post three weeks ago lol. this is now less true… see Boheng’s post] My actual point is that I’m unfamiliar with snow and ice. So when my famline’s⁠02 an aside on famlines: you might know famlines best from frats and sororities. famlines are generally small groups of mentorship structures, where older people 'match' with younger / fresher members of the community and hang out/support each other in a group. i'm personally not in a co-ed frat or sorority, but some clubs will also organise their own 'famline' structures. hackmit, the club i used to run, had our own set of famlines; this is the famline i'm referring to! it's a nice way for alum to stay in touch and support newer members, and i like my famline a lot <3 we even call ourselves the 'jamline' because most of our names start with j LOL. #jamlinebestfamline newest child suggested that we go to the CSC ice skating study break, ⁠03 Chinese Students Club! they're the oldest cultural club on campus and host a lot of events, many of them Chinese-themed :) everyone can join, regardless of whether you have any Chinese cultural affiliations, which is also true for all other cultural clubs as I understand it. very cool stuff I was… terrified, to say the least 😁

I tried at least twice to wriggle out of ice skating. Unfortunately, the rest of my famline are apparently huge skating fans, so eventually I accepted that I had to fulfill my familial duties. Sometimes life gives you a pair of skates and tells you to get on the ice.

can you tell that i don't want to ice skate?

can you tell that i *really* don't want to ice skate?

Previous Next

I am very afraid of most snow and ice related activities. Every time I’ve heard about a ski trip, it’s coupled with how someone ended up in crutches. Similarly, my most recent memory of someone talking about ice skating was how they ended up in a brace because they broke their wrist. So when I tell you that my legs were SHAKING when I put on my skates, I’m not kidding. ⁠04 ok so part of it may have been because i was jumping for three hours at my floor party the day before BUT i digress

Getting on the ice wasn’t easy; I was too embarrassed to use one of the skating aids on the ice, so as soon as I got on the ice I held onto the wall for dear life. The jokes about “grandmother Janet hobbling along” immediately commenced, but I was too worried about falling to be annoyed.

imagine the aura loss holding onto this while some kid is speeding past you... i was NOT about to do that

my grandchild Linda X. '28 helping me out while my child Teresa J. '26 (don't ask) poses in the background

Previous Next

As it turns out, being afraid of falling is not a good way to learn how to skate. My famline tried to teach me how to squat so that I wouldn’t tilt too far forward, and tried to hold my hands and guide me through gliding, but I ended up flattening myself against the wall for a while because every time someone held my hands and attempted to guide me I inadvertently leaned all my weight on them and lost my balance. It was honestly quite embarrassing, especially when people were elegantly gliding around and doing jumps and spins.

I remember the pain of dragging myself along the wall at one point, and someone came onto the ice and placed her phone on the rink edge a little ahead of me; we made eye contact, and even though I attempted to leave the side of the wall to let her do her spins in front of her camera, she had already taken her phone and left in the time that I spent flailing. KILL MEEEEE I felt so bad…

at least we had cutie famline pics though! ft. Jinhee W. ’26, Teresa J. ’26, Linda X. ’28, and Jeffrey L. ’27 :)

Being a beginner is hard. Being an old beginner is worse. I found myself cursing the fact that I hadn’t learned to ice skate at five when apparently everyone else did. I felt terrible when my friends lapped me and checked whether I was okay, and when they gently adjusted my stance or followed me to suggest postural improvements. On top of that, I had the mental image of an arm in braces floating constantly at the back of my mind; I was terrified of leaving the wall and falling over. I was back in piano, and table tennis, and dance, all over again—things that I started too late, things I gave up in high school because I felt insecure, things which I couldn’t help but compare myself to others. At the time, I’d told myself that it was for the better, because I’d be able to pay more attention to my schoolwork and the things I was already good at, but some part of me knew the truth—that I was insecure and needed an excuse to run away.

The good thing about being an adult is that you can reflect on your actions and manage your emotions maturely. ⁠05 see also: are encouraged to, because you're an adult dude what are you doing if you're not Taking Responsibility™... all tricks of the mind, tricks of the mind... After my friends told me enough stories about them falling and convinced me that to learn skating you had to fall, I promised myself that I’d try to fall more: if I wasn’t falling, I wasn’t learning enough.

I fell on my butt for the first time at the end of my first lap.

Was it embarrassing?
Yes.⁠06 especially when THREE PEOPLE were trying to help you up and you kept on slipping over again... i felt like a sack of useless potatoes... i have never taken so long to get up

Was it painful?
In the moment, definitely.

Was it liberating?
Like, not exactly. But it was a good start.

Even though I was still deathly scared (and thus took my sweet time drinking the CSC-provided hot cocoa during our break), I agreed with Teresa that I would take my stinging butt and ego for another round, and squat more, and be okay with feeling not in control of my stance.

thank u CSC for hot cocoa YAY! Izzy Z. ’26 is also the beloved president of CSC and a friend :) spot the cutie pandas on the cupholders

Contrary to unpopular belief, I did not start my main character training arc and become Yuri on Ice in round two. However, I did feel a lot better about being guided. I even started skating without holding the wall. At the end of my second lap, I even skated for a little longer and tried turning around. Sometimes the biggest barrier to improvement really is just mental.

our child Jeffrey was speeding along so the old people took a pic together! can you tell that i’m slightly less fearful here (if you ignore how i’m holding onto my grandchild linda for dear life…)

I haven’t tried and properly engaged with something this new in a long time. When you’re used to being at the top of your class, or your school, or your country, it’s easy to get comfortable; it’s easy to become attached to your competency as an identity. Being a beginner or even average feels like something that you’re supposed to have outgrown; but that mindset precludes you from things that you can enjoy just for the sake of it. To tie everything to your self-worth is a dangerous life to live.

Will I go back to ice skating? Maybe, if I find the time and friends for it. It’s easy to say that you should practice being bad at things, but it’s still difficult when you have so many obligations on your plate⁠07 my homework... my final projects... my laundry... my taxes... . But if you get the chance to go try something out of your comfort zone, do it! It could be the start of a fun new hobby, the trigger for some self-reflection, or even just inspiration for 1200 words of mediocre philosophy.