The water is painted with soft teal waves and tinged with an amber glow. I’m sitting on a cold concrete slab, where the tides would normally spill over. I look out into the distance and squint at where the sky meets the ocean, partitioned by the faintest, haziest stroke. In front of me, the glistening sun rays dance on the water and, behind me, a night market scene is just beginning to liven up. Crowds of people are shuffling about, bustling between street acts and corner shops—but I am alone.

1

There is an innate human fear in being by yourself. Survival instincts tell us that we’re in greater risk of danger. The unfamiliar is scarier without friends. It can simply feel awkward fumbling to navigate places alone. Signs seem to point against doing things independently. Besides, there’s an added dimension of fun when someone else is also along for the ride, whether it be to try a new cafe or jam at a concert. Those moments are important. You can make memories and build connections. But, in that same vein, I think the benefits can also be reaped from solo experiences. You can create beautiful memories and nurture the connection you have with just yourself.

2

Going solo is empowering. I’ve learned to better trust my decisions, be adaptable to new situations, and fully reap in the moment. It’s also nice being able to think “I would like to do this thing” and just do it, instead of having conditionals and depending on others. I think it’s important to not let the absence of others prevent oneself from doing something—like, you wanting to do it is all the grounds you need. You are enough. I’ve also learned that people don’t look at you as much as you may think they do.⁠01 a manifestation of the spotlight effect, which is when people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are In a strangely comforting way, people don’t really care. Dining alone? Dancing alone? Whatever, people at most may take a quick glance, but soon after get caught back up in their own worlds.

3

More than all of this, solo adventures are a way to literally “befriend” yourself. I love taking myself out on little outings. I often think things like…

• How would I want to spend time with my best friend right now?
• Where would I want them to take me?
• What would be nice to hear them say?

I’m happy that I’ve come to enjoy the company of myself. I like hearing her⁠02 me, but im speaking in third-person lol observations of things. I think she has a whimsical sense of humor. She’s so willing to try new things. The lens in which she views the world from is pragmatic yet optimistic.

4

A whole different realm of possibilities open up when alone, things that you wouldn’t be able to do with others around. The life of the mind is so alive.

1. You learn to exercise the muscle of making decisions, because now each one is fully your own. You can better take responsibility for your mistakes and celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small.
2. It’s a great way to learn more about yourself, especially with developing taste. I think “taste” is all about exposing yourself to things and learning what things you do and do not like.
3. You can lean into your senses without interruption. Sometimes, I’ve wanted to look at museum art pieces for longer, sniff the savory wafts of some restaurant entrees a bit stronger, or wander down a road at a rate much slower.
4. People watching is so pleasant. Of course, you can do this in the company of others but, when alone, it’s just you and the world.

My friend Malachi M. ’25 once asked me “how do you just… go out and do things? how do you trust yourself?” which got me working through some thoughts that eventually led to this blog. By going solo, you can more deeply understand what you like to do, what items in stores you gravitate towards, and what you are capable of doing. These solo experiences exist on a wide spectrum, from reading in a local cafe to taking a train over to another country. They can happen anywhere. Here are some of my stories:

For years, I wanted to travel somewhere alone, but there was always a layer of fear that accompanied this desire. Regardless, I felt there was a constant allure that came with a trip where it’d just be me on my own two feet. I could do whatever I wanted. Admittedly, maybe the teen angst was getting to me, too. So, eventually, I embarked on my first solo trip, then my second trip, and am now making it an annual thing.

2022: Key West, Florida (USA)

June 7th — June 11th

I knew I wanted one thing, and that was to be by the water. As a Nevadan, I had my fair share of California visits, so I decided to stick to the east coast. After googling things like “safest places for women to travel alone in the US” and “affordable oceanside US cities,” I landed on Key West Island in Florida. Sandwiched between spring finals and the start of my summer research, this trip served as a fun, liminal time between my commitments. 

sightseeing

visited the end of highway 1, which extends along the entire east coast from the top of Maine to the bottom of Florida (making it the longest north–south road in the US)! apparently, this sign gets stolen a lot…

alt-rock music poured out of this place on a random weekday, and I respected that. I also thought the tomfoolery sign and subtle moment of red lighting were cute

it was so incredibly humid in the keys, and this museum display was a good representation of that: condensation appeared on the opposite side of the glass book display

T> pose

There is one place where all the action happens in Key West, and that is Duval Street. I found this aspect added to the TV-sitcom charm of the place. It was also relaxing because life wasn't so overwhelming like NYC where there are a bajillion streets, but instead there was one road to see it all. Around the middle of Duval, I was pleased to see rainbow crosswalks and a pastel-pink queer bar.

ocean-viewing chairs

Prior to coming, I didn't know that Key West is home to the most-South point of the continental US. Now, I'm set on visiting the other cardinal extremes.

this guy playing with fire on a unicycle reminded me of my time fire spinning at mit! i was very impressed

this is "The Mansion On The Sea," a very pretty private-residence-turned-hotel that i caught a glimpse of from the outside

this is the moment that the first paragraph of the blog was about

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nature and food

Key West is a tiny 2x4 mile island, so I thought to bike the perimeter. My one navigation rule was to only turn right. It felt satisfying to complete the full circuit, like—ah yes—I have seen this full land mass.

On one of my right turns, I found a woody trail that stretched out into the ocean! The greenery provided some much-needed shade. It was a lovely sight, but I was a bit spooked out on this leg because I’m pretty sure I biked pass a big tarantula, or at least some creature that looked like one, but I didn’t bother to slow down and check, especially because I was alone. I got out of there FAST.

my first meal on the trip

there are wild chickens all over Key West, in addition to other birds. fun fact: the entire island is a bird sanctuary.

because it was so incredibly hot in the keys, I was very happy to end off my day with ube/mint ice cream

petted a Hemingway cat, which are all polydactyl (have 6 toes)! American novelist Ernest Hemingway lived in Key West and wrote many of his famous books here, one of which I had read before: The Old Man and the Sea

key lime pie, which originated in Key West

water! especially as someone who grew up in a desert, I was very excited for this island tour. we kayaked, snorkeled, and paddle-boarded. played around in mangroves and sand bars. saw a sea urchin.

visited a butterfly conservatory. this particular snapshot captures blue morphos whizzing by flamingos

spent my final evening at a dessert bar

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2023: Cardiff, Wales (UK)

July 28th — August 1st

While working in England this past summer, I had a goal of visiting all four countries that comprised the United Kingdom. I considered prioritizing other European countries, but I wanted to better understand British culture and plan something more budget-friendly. Wales was the last country I had left, so I made that location my solo trip of the summer. I considered going to a national park, exploring some caves, and visiting Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch (the longest city name in Europe),⁠03 and the second-longest in the world! though, I will note that this is specifically for contiguous names. if you include cities with spaces, Thailandʼs capital is the longest (Bangkok is the name foreigners use, but the official name that Thai people actually use is totally different). Itʼs so long that a Thai rock band actually wrote <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c76LZ5Y4IIc" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a song</a> to help people remember it. I have around half of the capital down, and perhaps Iʼll get the rest one day. but all of those things were in the north. I lived close to the south. If I elected to go north, I’d spend far more money and a third of my trip would just be commuting, so I decided to explore the local charm of the capital instead. By this point, I wanted more of a rejuvenating vacation rather than a full-blown, activities-packed agenda anyways, so this trip felt more fitting.

sightseeing

biking signs, with the left one pointing to Cambridge and the right pointing to St Ives

so, I somehow wound up with a very athletically-ambitious plan: (1) hike 6 miles to see the local flora and fauna with my landlord, (2) bike 17 miles to see my friend in Cambridge, and (3) run 17 minutes to make it on time for my train. i was a bit surprised that i made it, honestly, but it ended up working out. i do not recommend doing this.

i spent a fair amount of time geocaching, which is basically participating in a global treasure hunt. anyone can place, find, and signature "caches". the activity took me to cool places. i found this one in a flower garden.

T> pose (the creator of this cache said you can signature only if you balance on one foot with the cache on your head, recite the Welsh national anthem, and post a picture to the geocaching app, which i, of course, did)

a Welsh castle

a giant Celtic Ring, which had art and angle measurements etched into its sides. the angles were important because i had to use them in my efforts to locate a geocache

the aforementioned geocache, which seemed to have been decimated. others in the geocache app had recently reported this to the cache creator, so hopefully it got restored

i thought this architecture was interesting. cool coloring and shape choices

one of my favorite caches! though, it was at a church, and i felt very odd pacing around trying to find the cache. the owner did note that they chatted with the church and it's fine, but that did not take away from the way i felt. this cache took the longest by FAR. i spent like an hour there and almost gave up, but managed to locate it by the end.

an old brick red building next to a white ferris wheel. cool contrast: old, dark and light, young.

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nature and food

i biked past this on my way from St Ives to Cambridge. what a beautiful dreamy little bench nook.

phew! had a well-deserved combo of a sandwich and juice after a physically-demanding morning

a Scotch egg!

a latte, slice of apple bread, and a book i was reading

mushrooms of some sort on bread. very yummy

twinning

i was craving Asian food so i grabbed a big bowl of pho

pandan is one of my favorite flavors, but this dessert was largely flavorless. the plating was nice, so my eyes ate more than my mouth.

the design of this noodle bar restroom hallway was so cool! the peachy lights. the poster selection. the painted sign at the bottom. i appreciated the art.

got a drink lit on fire, which was mad cool for a half-second, but then i realized how much of a touristy gimmick it was. the fire did not add anything to the drink at all but was instead mostly for show. the more you know

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2024: ???

I have no clue where I’m going yet, but I’m excited for whatever this trip becomes…