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My ML model finished training right after I finished this post by Jenny B. '25

technically i *am* doing work right now

Junior year was a milestone for me because it was the first time where I actually got to work with machine learning models. I just got some code to run on my computer for my UROP project this summer, which is exciting! If I time-travelled back to sixth grade and told myself that I would be doing this kind of stuff in college, she would be excited and (hopefully) proud of me.

But, it’s definitely not what she would’ve imagined it would be like.

me sitting at my desk: "well, gotta wait for the model to train now"

my computer says: "i have learned sentience and a sense of identity"

computer: "my name is chandler from friends and i crave the human experience"; jenny: "this is scientifically impossible! you were created to fix satellite images, not learn how to speak... or think like a person"

chandler: "i have dreams now... aspirations... i have helped you for the past several years, and i hope that you have space in your heart to show me the world, master chief jen-117"; jenny: "my name is– actually i'm fine with that"

caption: and so i showed chandler f. friends the world and taught him many things about what it's like to be human; jenny: blah blah blah and that explained the blood dripping from the ceiling; chandler: ah scintillating

MIT scientist: you downloaded a secret experiment that MIT has been running for the past 10 years and so we will have to ARREST YOU

clarification: this is a scientist who just got their eyes dilated by an optometrist which is why they’re wearing sunglasses

jenny: NOOO HE'S JUST LIKE US1; chandler: alas, jen-117, it looks like i won't see the ocean before i die...

random guy: take that, nerd!!; MIT scientist: wait seriously give it back though you pushed your changes to the wrong branch

jenny: friends actor and greater boston native matt leblanc?; matt leblanc clone: no i am actually his CLONE (therefore i do not legally represent any thoughts that the real matt leblanc may have) and MIT created me but i escaped and came back to save my brother

matt leblanc clone: we must rush tot he atlantic ocean so chander friends can fulfill his dreams. get on my bluebike!

jenny: we made it here just in time for the sunset; chandler: i can see the dolphins

chandler: i know my true calling now... i want to join the dolphins; jenny: chandler No you will die and also i was going to download red dead redemption 2

chandler: your kindness has inspired me to generate an image for you to remember me by; [image is a bad anime drawing of jenny with multiple fingers]; jenny: wow that definitely is an image; dolphins: *dolphin noises*

rod serling: but young master chef petty officer jen-117 knew what she must do and released chandler the computer into the sea of dolphins, where he died. like what did you think was gonna happen, MIT didn't code waterproofness into his system. anyway i'm Rod Serling and you're watching the Twilight Zone



This is what it’s actually been like for the most part.  

me sitting at my desk: "well, gotta wait for the model to train now"

stares outside window

looking at video on phone, which says "ahnd this is how yew speak in an english ahccent"

jenny: why is it still stupid