Parental advice, revisited… by David duKor-Jackson
a self-referential throwback, that is somehow, still relevant
I often receive requests for advice about the college process. It makes sense, given my role. Many of those requests, understandably, come from prospective students. Interestingly, and perhaps not surprisingly, a significant number come from parents whose children are years away from the college process. While the specifics of each situation varies, the underlying question is almost always some variation of “How do I select the right summer and enrichment opportunities to best position my child for success in the college application process?”
About two years ago, I responded to one such inquiry with the following:
While there are a variety of summer programs that I can suggest, first I would encourage you to read this blog entry that I wrote a number of years ago sharing some parental advice.
As for summer programs, we have already compiled a pretty good list here: https://mitadmissions.org/apply/prepare/summer/
I can’t say that participation will smooth the path for admission, but any of the programs will allow your child to learn some things about MIT and themself, including whether MIT is likely to be a good cultural fit. The last thing that I will say is that the admission committee is particularly focused on individual initiative. So while we certainly care what interests students pursue and what accomplishments students achieve, we are probably even more interested in why. It is entirely possible that your efforts to position your child for success in the admission process, at MIT at least, may actually do more harm than good.
In the intervening period, I received several updates, expressing appreciation for the advice, and the positive developments attributed to “getting out of the way,” including: a significantly improved relationship and outstanding college options.
Every situation is different, and the example provided is just that, one single, specific instance. While I will not and cannot guarantee any particular outcome, there is value in parents checking their ego, and providing students with the opportunity and agency for genuine self-discovery.
So give them a chance. They might surprise you.