You always have been by Cami M. '23
hi everybody!
Dear Reader,
I’m writing this in the WordPress portal and this is an absolute blast from the fucking past. Can I open up by cursing? Is that allowed? One time, in my sophomore year, there was a blogger meeting where I think it was insinuated that content on the blogs was getting maybe somewhat raunchy or vulgar and I cried after the meeting because I thought it was targeted at me. Then, Petey had to message me directly to comfort me and clear things up. Core memory for sure.
Anyway, hi everyone, to those of you who do not know me, my name is Cami and I graduated MIT in 2023. It feels weird and maybe self-serving to say like “You might know me from…” or “I was known for…”, but I’ll fight through it for the sake of the blogposts. I was known on the blogs for having a lot of braindump-type posts that mainly waxed poetic about my time at MIT, both good and bad. My goal was to make it more like journal entries and stamped moments of my life.
I actually look back at my blogs pretty often – then and now, way back then to somewhat then, super way back then to the very current now, etc. I’m always slightly amused seeing what things I was fussing about then, whether it was going through breakups (both freshman and senior year!) or being worried about passing classes or trying to figure out what the future holds.
I look back and read those blogposts and feel just as much as I felt in those moments. The crying, the laughter, the fear – everything. It’s incredibly humbling. As I prepared to write these “cruft” blogs (which Mel so kindly notified me about, thank you Mel), I also dug back into my old MIT email and re-read a lot of the very kind emails readers had sent me through the 4 years I was blogging.
I didn’t quite know what I wanted to write in this blogpost, but I knew to some degree I wanted to give a heartfelt and very full thank you. My senior year, my brain was in a lot of disarray and while I did leave thank you notes, I don’t think they were super complete.01 Fun fact: I wrote a thank you note for a situationship I was in at the time and my mom was so mad at me for using my last blogpost to thank my situationship instead of my college boyfriend. I still chuckle whenever I read it. But thank you for all the kind messages over the years and the opportunities and encouragement and just. Everything. Blogging brought me some of the fondest and best memories I made at MIT, best mentors, best friendships, best experiences, just everything. I owe nearly *everything* to my blogging experience here at MIT. Through it, I learned to be more vulnerable and how to word my feelings and really just feel everything I was feeling. I don’t think I realized how much I relied on writing to feel things, and honestly once I graduated college, I stopped writing and found it a lot harder to feel in touch with my emotions.
Anyway, what have I been up to since then?
Where do you live? What do you do? What is life like?
Writing this makes me wish I had written one of those “Letter to yourself 5 years from now” when I graduated. Anyway, I am still in fact in New York City working as a product manager for a big tech company. It’s exactly how it sounds. It’s remote so I have a lot of flexibility in my day to day.
Usually, my work just looks like me outstretched on my couch, tip-tapping away at product requirements or to my teammates asking questions about data, etc. It feels very adult. It’s also odd that people look to me for product direction. I’m actually working on a humongous project that I’m super excited about (and feel extremely privileged to take lead on).
I live in a gorgeous, beautiful apartment which I am also grateful to live in. MIT did a great job of setting me up for success and I feel very good about my lifestyle, my home, my hobbies, etc.
I live with my dog and my boyfriend. Yes! I got a dog. He’s the best thing in the world, even if he’s a pain in my ass.
They’re my whole world and I love them with every surface area available of my body and heart.
Cami? What?
Yeah, a lot has changed since I graduated. I had a weird last semester where I was trying to find myself and boy howdy, I did! Post-grad life has been an absolute blast, it’s been basically everything I wanted and more. Let’s get into it.
NEW YORK
- That’s me and my old roommate, Sirena! I have since moved from this apartment but it was so cute doing the whole girls in a New York City apartment thing. Felt very Friends, Sex and the City-esque.
- My boyfriend and I at Fish Cheeks in Manhattan (not…my favorite Thai place in NYC – that would be Soothr). But, anyone who knows me knows I LOVE eating. I love eating. SO MUCH. And there’s so much variety here and I get to try new, delicious foods all the time.
- Thankfully, NYC has great public transit so I’m able to go to places like upstate New York and see more greenery and do apple picking, like I did when I was in college!
- A lot of MIT people live in New York and there’s always something going on! This was from a New Year’s eve party I went to with my friends.
- A more wholesome moment – board game cafes! Board games have become…such a big part of my life. My boyfriend introduced me to Twilight Imperium and I’ve become obsessed, I cannot believe I’ve become the kind of person who plays 8-12 hour long boardgames.
- My friends and me at the US Open! I love tennis, I love watching tennis, and it is an absolute privilege to have a major so close to me. I’ve seen so many incredible matches (I watched the Tiafoe v. Fritz 2024 match last year and it was literally so breathtaking). Absolutely LOVE tennis, I hope to go to every major and get a (viewing) grand slam of my own.
- I crocheted a Baby Plum from the Binding of Isaac for my boyfriend! I’ve actually found a lot more time since graduating to invest more in my hobbies.
- Broadway! This is a picture of the final bows from the Sweeney Todd revival. SO good. I’ve seen so many Broadway shows since living here (my favorites are Hadestown, Maybe Happy Ending, and Wicked) and I am always so awestruck by all the stars that come out and do plays and musicals out here. Sarah Snook from Succession is actually going to be starring in a Picture of Dorian Gray play here on Broadway. I am elated.
- Special events! Like I said, there’s always some fuckshit going on in NYC. I am always keeping an eye out for pop-ups (like the Timothee Chalamet look alike contest), weird happenings, random events to go to and one of them was the Apple Music Taylor Swift: Artist of the Year event where they had a special pop-up museum-like thing that walked you through all of her eras.
- Cooking! Hosting! This is my cozy wintertime hangout I hosted where I made shakshuka and hot chocolate for my friends.
Living in New York has given me so many unique opportunities and ways to enjoy life. There’s always something going on in the city and I think it really compliments my brain and the way I think. I hop between a lot of different activities and things I want to try and there’s ALWAYS an opportunity to go do and try those things in the city.
TRAVEL
Travel is incredibly important to me. The nice thing about having a fully remote job is that you can really zoom-zoom anywhere and everywhere (with permission, of course). I’ve really made the most of not having to worry about tests or homework or classes and embraced traveling. I think sometimes I travel a bit too much, and it ruins my routine a lot, but I really do feel this urgency to go see things, especially while I still can.
- Emma and I went to Vegas for funsies right after graduation, which was an absolutely crazy fun time.
- I also then returned to Vegas that October for TwitchCon, here’s me with AustinShow and HasanAbi.
- So I think this photo is in London but honestly on this trip my mom, cousin, uncle, and I went to Prague also, so maybe this is in Prague?
- In January 2024 I Went on a Cancun trip with my closest dphie sisters to escape the chilly NYC winter. It was an all-inclusive resort and it was fantastic. I also got to practice my horrible, horrible Spanish.
- I also went to Tokyo the summer right after I graduated and Sirena and Mikey were interning abroad there! So we went to this very delicious izakaya and did karaoke after!
- I recently had the realization that there are so many beautiful things in this world and I may die not having seen them, and so I’ve become more determined to go hiking and see more sights. I’ve been to Yosemite before, but we didn’t do this hike. This was the Vernal Falls + Nevada Falls trail. I was so scared to do this, especially just because I was the least fit in the group, but I was so proud of myself for getting to the top!
- So-Fi Stadium Eras Tour. I actually got to see Taylor perform twice, once here in Los Angeles and another time on her final night of the Eras Tour ever in Vancouver.
- Me with Emma before she embarked for her job abroad. Santa Monica is so close to where we both call home and so this felt more like a return home than a travel trip.
DOMESTICITY & FAMILY
I’ve spent so much of my postgrad life traveling and trying new things and hopping around, but also attempting to be a lot more intentional with my time and how I spend it. I realized I had the income to travel home more often, to see my dad’s side more often, to buy Christmas presents for my family, to go on vacations with my boyfriend and my dog. If you had asked me a year ago what the hardest thing I’ve ever done is, I would’ve said MIT. If you were to ask me that question today, I would say losing my grandmother. I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with her and those last moments. I wrote a whole thing about it on my Substack, and I won’t get into it here, but I really, really have been focusing a lot on building a home, building a family, and maintaining and strengthening my relationship with my family. I’ve tried so hard to cultivate a loving home for my boyfriend, dog, and I and also to fly back home regularly to see my family.
- Me as a baby with my Nona. I love this photo of us.
- This was the very last photo my Nona and I took together. She was hospitalized maybe 24 hours after this was taken. Our last good day together.
- Me and my baby boy Butters! He gets annoyed with me sometimes.
- Butters and his Auntie Kylee together, he loves attention.
- A lot of my “perfect” days in New York are just this: my boyfriend, my dog, and I sat on our comfortable couch doing absolutely nothing.
- My beautiful home!! Okay, it’s a little messy in this photo but this is so cozy. Vibes are immaculate. Lavender candle lit. Virtual fireplace on. Speakers on. Dim lamps. Dog next to me. Perfect.
- Snickers appearance!! Wouldn’t be a Cami blog if I didn’t have the OG dog in here. He’s sick right now, though, please wish him well.
- My grandfather, my Lolo. That’s his spot at the table, he always has to sit there.
- My mama!
- A little decor for the house. We got that Philippines tapestry from an antique store in Hunter, New York. Was kind of crazy to see it.
HOBBIES, WORK, and ME
I don’t really have pictures to represent these, so bear with me. Like I mentioned earlier, postgrad has given me the ability to just invest more – in people, in things I care about, in my hobbies, in myself, and I’m super grateful for it. Since graduating I have been…
- starting (and stopped) guitar lessons. It was great diving into it again and getting formal training since I’ve only been self taught. I’ve since stopped (just because it was hard to balance with my schedule) but I might start piano lessons!
- doing Spanish classes. One of my goals in life is to attain fluency, and so hopefully through this and comprehensible input and lots of practice, I’ll get there.
- Journaling! This is an interesting one. Since I stopped blogging, I realized I stopped processing my emotions and thoughts as deeply. I relied on blogging as a form of handling and understanding my thoughts. My poor therapist. But I’ve started writing/journaling/blogging again to make sure I don’t get emotionally constipated.
- Cooking! I cook a lot, I would say. And I think I’m actually pretty good at it. I no longer get intimidated by the grocery store to figure out what to eat and I actually find cooking quite relaxing.
- Reading and running. This one was a surprise to me, too. I never thought I would ever run in my life. Ever. And then I talked to Petey about how my old gym was too far from my new place but I was locked into a subscription for at least the rest of the year, so he suggested running. To which I scoffed out but then I downloaded Run with Hal and then I ran a 5K in December!!!! When I run, I listen to audiobooks and it’s actually fantastic and has helped me get back into reading a little bit more. I’m currently reading Pachinko!
- Playing games. My boyfriend and I are currently doing a Baldur’s Gate 3 run. I had a Balatro obsession for a little bit (MIND YOU I HAVE BEEN PLAYING SINCE THE DEMO!! I LOVE THAT GAME!) and I learned how to play Civ recently. It’s been great.
- Grinding! I love my job and my co-workers. I think I work a lot, but I think it’s worth it.
- Going to the movies! I have an Alamo Drafthouse subscription so I go to a lot of movies. I highly recommend getting a movie theatre subscription if you have the time to go. Convince your friends, too.
- Going to concerts! If y’all know me, y’all know I love my concerts. It’s actually terrifying because SO much of my money goes to entertainment/shows/concerts/etc….we’ll work on it.
All of this is to say – I’m doing well. There have been a lot of ups and downs postgrad but my family and friends have kept me grounded and stabilized. I wish I could go back in time and give college Cami a big hug. There were so many times where I wondered what life was going to be like, who I was going to be, where I was going to be. New York was daunting and scary. I didn’t know where I was going to live or what I was even doing in there. And now, I’ve really carved out a spot for myself. I still keep in contact with so many of my college friends, and I really believe I’ve worked hard to try and fashion my life into something I’m proud of.
Obviously, I still have so much future ahead of me, and I don’t know what will come next, but I’m happy to be where I stand, and I look forward to whatever lies ahead!!!!
Much love from Butters and I,
Cami
- Fun fact: I wrote a thank you note for a situationship I was in at the time and my mom was so mad at me for using my last blogpost to thank my situationship instead of my college boyfriend. I still chuckle whenever I read it. back to text ↑