So I've been spending some time in my hometown over Winter Break, and this time, I know it's probably the last time that I'll sleep in my bed before I go off and become an adult. It's kind of strange and at the same time awesome to think that I'm actually growing up and doing my own things.
Coming back to Texas allows me to think about how my MIT experience has expanded my outlook on life and the world. But first, I think you need some context about me and my history.
I'm from "Suburbia", Texas whereby "Suburbia" I mean for my first year of high school, I lived in one of those neighborhoods where your elementary school was one block away; your middle school was three blocks away; and your high school was maybe five or six blocks away. Since my mom was the only parent and had to work, I walked to and from school most days. I kind of cry a tear for the environment when I think about all the cars that actually made the six block trip. Almost everything was provided for us in our 55,000 resident city-within-a-city, so we rarely had to leave.
For my sophomore through senior years, I spent it at a less-exclusive high school where there were a lot more people and a lot more diversity. When senior year came, most people from my high school decided to stay in Texas for college for one reason or another. I disagreed with a lot of people about their reasons. A lot of the families I knew were deeply set in family traditions. Others wanted to go where most of their friends were going. I and a handful of other people just wanted to see what was beyond state lines and experience something new.
So I did. In late August 2003, I packed up a backpack and two duffel bags and a whole lot of boxes and moved almost 2000 miles from home. No coming home on the weekend to do laundry...that was for sure. Now the MIT environment and surroundings was a lot different then what I'd lived in before. For one, travel at MIT was primarily public transportation. (+1 for the environment). I observed that people walked a lot faster going places. And generally, I feel that the city stays up a lot later than my neighbors back at home do.
So what does this all mean. A friend who I caught up with over break said something to me and it was kind of shocking. "You've come back with that New England-er attitude."
"Excuse me, what?"
So after talking it over, I see that he'd just noticed a change in me that I guess I hadn't realized myself. Going to MIT forced me to be a lot more independent than I ever was. As the oldest child, I've always had responsibilities etc, but quasi-living on your own puts a different filter on it all. In high school, my mom didn't believe in allowances. I got money when I needed it. In college, I have a set allowance, and I've got to handle it myself. And yes folks, Boston IS more expensive than where I come from. Unlike home where my car sits in the garage and I use it to get to A to B. My car at college rests in my closet in the form of my shoes or on a bike rack or at the bus and subway station. Moral of the story: Life is different when you go to college.
But is that such a bad thing?
I mean, college in general is going to put you in a new environment. Changes are destined to happen whether you like it or not. So I guess my piece of advice to you is not to make decisions based on where you think "change will happen the least." I don't think that's going to happen in the long run. Make your decisions based off of the real things...education, opportunity, PEOPLE. I can't say what it would have been like if I went to a large public university with most of my high school friends. I may not have ever really met as many new people as I did at MIT because I wouldn't have had to. I also admit that I haven't experienced the other side of it because I've only attended MIT, but I think the experience that I've been awarded in moving away and living on my own has really taught me a lot about life and people.
And a word for the parents:
I know that you get worried. I'm 21 years old, and not only do I have to call my mom every day, I pretty much have to call my grandparents every day too. They still worry for me, and I don't think that would have changed depending on the school I attended. As a child, I realize we're MAJOR investments, and you don't want anything to happen to us, but keeping us near by just because it appears to be "the safer option" may not be the right idea. College is about learning, and if an education is what you want your daughter or son to get, then why not let them get an even richer one.
And as always, my blog is a discussion not just my words. So I invite comments from prospective students, parents, my friends at other schools who read this. Disagree or agree. Or just add your own 2 cents. If you have any other questions that you don't want to post on a public forum, you can email me at bryanblogs [at] mit dot edu.
Happy New Year.
Comments (Closed after 30 days to reduce spam)
Hi, where can I get help for unlock my MyMIT account? I cannot submit my application and the dealine is Jan 1st. I sent email request to techhelp, left message at several numbers, but no luck. I really appreciate if you could help me on this. Thanks.
Posted by: Chris on December 30, 2006
Posted by: Bianca '11 on December 30, 2006
If you stay away from the Green line, you'll be fine. There's like 4 different versions, and I still get lost.
- Bryan
Posted by: Bryan on December 30, 2006
Posted by: Jigar on December 30, 2006
Posted by: Rach on December 30, 2006
Posted by: jas on December 30, 2006
i mean, isnt moving out and doind your own stuff a main part of growing up? you cant always live with your parents. im seventeen now and no matter if im admitted to mit or if i have to go to the university of munich, im definitely moving out. not that i dont like my parents because i do, but as i said, you cant always stay at home and be mommied. so there isnt a better time to move out than when you finish high school
Posted by: Vanessa on December 30, 2006
Rach, a fellow Californian! Same thing here, people telling me to go to a UC because UCs are cheap and good schools - but hey, MIT's better =) That and I want to see snow...
Have any of you listened to the song "Boston" by Augustana? My friends have deemed that my theme song..
Posted by: Melissa '11 on December 30, 2006
Posted by: Idriss on December 30, 2006
my mom doesn't want to let me out of her sight, she wants me to go to college in the same city so she can "keep an eye" on me -- and i'm the most innocent person on earth, i'm not gonnna do anything!
Posted by: sarah on December 30, 2006
Posted by: zac on December 30, 2006
Posted by: faye on December 30, 2006
Our youngest is applying to the Institute, and our other 4 kids attended a total of 7 different colleges/universities all over the US, both near and far from home (with some study abroad here and there). Every single one of them found ways to explore (and as their Mom, I'm absolutely sure I haven't heard all of the stories
Posted by: Mom (not yours!) on December 30, 2006
Posted by: Mom (not yours!) on December 30, 2006
Posted by: Jess on December 30, 2006
Posted by: Jon on December 30, 2006
Posted by: Zaira '11 on December 31, 2006
STOP BLOGGING!!
Seriously though, I love the idea of being totally self dependent, which Is why I am trying to get to the other side of the planet!
Now, See y'all in 2007!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Sarab on December 31, 2006
Posted by: Lindsay on December 31, 2006
Posted by: Lindsay on December 31, 2006
Before someone tells me about "enjoying the sunshine" - living in the desert for 17 years isn't as fun as it sounds O.O
Posted by: Melissa '11 on December 31, 2006
Posted by: Amy on December 31, 2006
Posted by: theresa on December 31, 2006
Posted by: theresa on December 31, 2006
I had some of the same things happen to me when I decided to transfer to North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics (in Durham NC). I transferred going into my junior year and most of my friends from my home high school were still trying to figure out how they could get into Appalachian State University (where everyone from my home school goes). I think I am the first person that has stepped foot into my old high school to apply to MIT. I think that every once in a while someone applies to Davidson, but other than that I dont believe many people can think bigger than a couple of in state schools. Luckily I was one of three people that went to Science and Math so the transition was not that bad for me and there are already two people from Science and Math that are accepted and many that were deferred.
Thanks for the post and letting us know that others go through some of the same things.
Posted by: Ben Williams on December 31, 2006
Posted by: Ben Williams on December 31, 2006
I'm from Fresno, CA by the way
Posted by: Kris on January 1, 2007
There is only one university on my island, and I don't feel that it will give me the best education that I can get. Therefore, I chose to apply to schools abroad.
Many of my friends are applying to universities in England, South Africa, Australia, France, Germany, and so on. Some are even thinking of going to China, Malaysia, and India.
Not that many students here apply to schools in the U.S. The idea has been gaining popularity here recently, but it's still relatively new. Most students prefer to go to Europe/Australia because that's where they have family/friends.
I don't agree at all with those who decide where to go to school based on where their friends plan to go/where they have relatives. The purpose of going to university isn't to surround yourself with familiar faces - the main idea is learning how to use your talents. And because each person has different skills and different ambitions, it's only logical that the place that is best for one won't suit another quite as well. By looking only at the schools where you think you'll feel most comfortable (where your friends are likely to go, not too far from home, etc), you're limiting your choices, and preventing yourself from finding the school that could best help you develop your poteential.
But then, I'm always keen to experience new things, meet different people, and see unfamiliar places. Some people learn better when they're in the same secure environment they've known all their lives. For me, going away is a great adventure, something exciting...most people though, seem to feel differently. They worry about how they're going to get by alone, without any family, and in a totally new place. This hasn't worried me the slightest. I just say to myself that I'll settle down, and that things are bound to work out. After all, change is a part of life. I think that many people fear it because they fear the unknown. They don't like not knowing what's coming next. I like it most of the time. What would life be if we knew everything in advance?
Anyway, I think I've made my point.
Posted by: Guyomar on January 1, 2007
Posted by: Guyomar on January 1, 2007
Thank goodness, too, 'cause I'd be bored if everyone did the exact same thing O.o
Posted by: Melissa '11 on January 1, 2007
What do you mean exactly? You say, 'I don't agree with people for doing this,' but you're also saying, 'People have different ambitions.' That's contradictory.
'By looking only at the schools where you think you'll feel most comfortable (where your friends are likely to go, not too far from home, etc), you're limiting your choices...'
How is this not exactly what you're doing? You say that 'I'm always keen to experience new things, meet different people, and see unfamiliar places'--in other words, you feel most comfortable going abroad. I could very well turn around and say, 'By only looking at overseas institutions, you're limiting your choices. Why don't you think about staying at home? What about your potential?' It reads to me--I could be wrong, but I parse for meaning, not intention--as though you're looking at the decisions of others much more harshly than you are looking at your own decisions.
'I don't agree at all with those who decide where to go to school based on where their friends plan to go/where they have relatives.'
This could sound a little shortsighted. You don't agree at all? I don't think it's fair to shut down any belief or perspective. There are plenty of advantages about matriculating to a school where a student has relatives. You have somewhere to go during the holidays, and don't have to spend money on a plane ticket home. You have someone to ask for money in case of emergency. Maybe you really like this family member and you haven't seen him or her in years. I can completely see how this would be important to some people.
As for the friends thing, I understand that, too. If I feel miserable at a school, it won't matter if I'm at Oxford, Harvard, MIT, Tokyo U, Cape Town, or even the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I might not do any work. I might not see the point. My (physical & emotional) health might suffer. Of course, I know myself enough that I'm ninety-nine percent sure that this won't happen, but I don't claim to speak for someone else. I agree with you about using university as a way to achieve one's potential--but I can definitely see how for some students, their potential is best attained in an education close to home. Many people have no problems leaving everything behind, but some of us may just be getting close to our parents and friends for the first time. It's a choice that they don't expect us to agree with, but it is a choice that deserves to be respected.
Lastly, some people just might not have the option to go abroad, period. It is not in me to say that such people are doomed to a life where their potential remains unreached.
'I think that many people fear it because they fear the unknown. They don't like not knowing what's coming next.'
No matter what school you attend or how many family members surround you, your university experience will be largely a venture into the unknown, period.
Don't get me wrong--I live my life exactly the way you live yours. I'm willing to travel thousands of miles to MIT if I gain an acceptance, and I'm the only person in my circle of friends who is even leaving the state. I'm not afraid of being alone, and I love to experience new things. At the same time, I don't claim that my decision is any better than another person's decision. At the end of the day, I trust that others know themselves as well as I know myself.
Posted by: Vu Truong on January 1, 2007
Posted by: Kelsey on January 2, 2007
" 'I don't agree at all with those who decide where to go to school based on where their friends plan to go/where they have relatives... And because each person has different skills and different ambitions, it's only logical that the place that is best for one won't suit another quite as well.'
What do you mean exactly? You say, 'I don't agree with people for doing this,' but you're also saying, 'People have different ambitions.' That's contradictory. "
By ambitions I meant career-related goals. Different schools will suit different people, depending on these goals. All I was saying was that you don't choose a school mainly because your friends are going there; the school might be right for them, but not for you. It might be the best to develop their potential, but not yours. So no, what I said was not contradictory.
"'By looking only at the schools where you think you'll feel most comfortable (where your friends are likely to go, not too far from home, etc), you're limiting your choices...'
How is this not exactly what you're doing? You say that 'I'm always keen to experience new things, meet different people, and see unfamiliar places'--in other words, you feel most comfortable going abroad. I could very well turn around and say, 'By only looking at overseas institutions, you're limiting your choices. Why don't you think about staying at home? What about your potential?'" I've already looked into schools in my country. There is only one university. I've considered staying at home. And based on what I know about it, I don't feel it's right for me. So, I'm not limiting my choices. I have considered all schools, what they can bring me, and then made the decision to only apply to schools overseas. What I meant was that when you DON'T look at all your options, but simply say 'Oh, my best friend is going to this school, I'll go there too!' without finding out as much as possible about all schools you could go to, you're limiting yourself.
"'I don't agree at all with those who decide where to go to school based on where their friends plan to go/where they have relatives.'
This could sound a little shortsighted. You don't agree at all? I don't think it's fair to shut down any belief or perspective. There are plenty of advantages about matriculating to a school where a student has relatives. You have somewhere to go during the holidays, and don't have to spend money on a plane ticket home. You have someone to ask for money in case of emergency. Maybe you really like this family member and you haven't seen him or her in years. I can completely see how this would be important to some people."
Yes, but like I said, I don't agree with this reasoning. The fact that you have relatives at a particular school shouldn't drive your decision to apply there. This is just my opinion.
"As for the friends thing, I understand that, too. If I feel miserable at a school, it won't matter if I'm at Oxford, Harvard, MIT, Tokyo U, Cape Town, or even the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I might not do any work. I might not see the point. My (physical & emotional) health might suffer. Of course, I know myself enough that I'm ninety-nine percent sure that this won't happen, but I don't claim to speak for someone else. I agree with you about using university as a way to achieve one's potential--but I can definitely see how for some students, their potential is best attained in an education close to home. Many people have no problems leaving everything behind, but some of us may just be getting close to our parents and friends for the first time. It's a choice that they don't expect us to agree with, but it is a choice that deserves to be respected."
I didn't mean to say that my choices were better than those of others or that they deserved more respect. I'm sorry if I came across this way. All I said in my post was that I didn't agree with their choices.
"Lastly, some people just might not have the option to go abroad, period. It is not in me to say that such people are doomed to a life where their potential remains unreached."
I'm well aware of this fact. I wasn't talking about these people. I was talking about those that have choices but who refuse to consider all of them.
'I think that many people fear it because they fear the unknown. They don't like not knowing what's coming next.'
"No matter what school you attend or how many family members surround you, your university experience will be largely a venture into the unknown, period.
Don't get me wrong--I live my life exactly the way you live yours. I'm willing to travel thousands of miles to MIT if I gain an acceptance, and I'm the only person in my circle of friends who is even leaving the state. I'm not afraid of being alone, and I love to experience new things. At the same time, I don't claim that my decision is any better than another person's decision. At the end of the day, I trust that others know themselves as well as I know myself."
You're quite right. Again, I wasn't saying that my decisions were better than anyone else's. I was simply stating and explaining why I didn't agree with some people's reasons for choosing a school. We're allowed to disagree aren't we?
Perhaps I didn't make myself clear enough, and perhaps I sounded as though I thought my way of living was the best. Not at all! I certainly didn't mean to offend anyone. I hope that this time there will be no confusion.
Posted by: Guyomar on January 2, 2007
Posted by: Hopeful on January 2, 2007
And if I would be accepted, I still have to make up my mind to leave ERVERYTHING behind, to loose friends and to see my family only one time a year, and calling is very expensive...
I think its a tough decision, although I ever wanted to go to MIT...
Posted by: 0 on January 2, 2007
Thanks for clarifying. I still find it contradictory. You clearly state that Some Things Are Good for Some People and Other Things Are Good for Other People. At the same time, you say You Do Not Agree with Them and They Are Limiting Their Potential. It's sort of like saying, 'Yeah, I like apples and I can see why some people would like oranges--but those orange-eaters really could make better decisions.' You think it's okay for people to have different ambitions. As long as no one is being killed or anything similarly drastic, why isn't it okay for people to have different ways of pursuing these ambitions, ways that might even involve not going to the best school possible?
I found it contradictory in that sense: you tolerate the fact that people have different drives, but look down on (or 'disagree with') their different decisions. If you maintain that it is not contradictory, then I accept your position. This is just how I see things.
'What I meant was that when you DON'T look at all your options, but simply say "Oh, my best friend is going to this school, I'll go there too!" without finding out as much as possible about all schools you could go to, you're limiting yourself.'
This sounds oversimplified to me. Whilst I realise there exist some people out there who would make such a decision, for the vast majority there must involve a multitude of factors that vary from person to person. Responding to what I have said point-by-point is unnecessary; I had one holistic point, and that was that we should respect the decisions of others because they know themselves best. I would never, ever, ever matriculate to a school just because my best friend goes there; as you have stated, neither would you. At the same time, I refuse to be to make the statement that the people doing such a thing are 'limiting' themselves. Some of them may be--or not. It's not my place to say, nor is it in my ability to ascertain.
'Yes, but like I said, I don't agree with this reasoning. The fact that you have relatives at a particular school shouldn't drive your decision to apply there. This is just my opinion.'
There's no need to italicise; I was using a general 'you' and did not refer to you specifically in any way. You (and this is to you specifically) have made it unmistakably clear that you don't agree; I was not trying to convince you of the contrary. It really is one thing to disagree, and another completely to accuse those with whom you disagree of limiting their own potential and of fearing the unknown.
'I didn't mean to say that my choices were better than those of others or that they deserved more respect. I'm sorry if I came across this way. All I said in my post was that I didn't agree with their choices.'
If that is the case, I am sorry I read your post that way. From my perspective, you could have been a little more sensitive in your disagreement instead of completely dismissive. From your perspective, you must be very annoyed that I read sinister motives into your words when they were simply not there. In any case, if your message was merely that you disagree with such a decision but that your decision wasn't the be-all-end-all correct decision, then we, in fact, happen to be in complete agreement.
Again, thanks for restating your position, and I apologise for not correctly comprehending the first time. Good discussion =D
Posted by: Vu Truong on January 2, 2007
Posted by: 0 on January 2, 2007
Posted by: Vu Truong on January 3, 2007
Posted by: Guyomar on January 3, 2007
Posted by: Guyomar on January 3, 2007
Posted by: Minh on January 3, 2007
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