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MIT blogger CJ Q. '23

ice skating by CJ Q. '23

don't fall

wayne: it’s just like walking, you put one foot in front of the other

cj: does it

wayne: nooo you’re marching, like, go a little forward and let yourself glide

cj: okay, like this? almost slips. why do i keep losing my balance

wayne: you’re angling your feet wrong?

cj: tries it. that doesn’t help

wayne: i mean it’s easier if you go faster, it’s like riding a bike

cj: i hate riding bikes

wayne: …

cj: no i mean i like bikes i just don’t like riding them. have i told you how i can’t ride blue bikes because the seats are too high

wayne: yes

cj: tries walking some more. why is this so hard

wayne: you know that if you like, point your shoes the right way, it’ll just go forward naturally because the ice melts underneath the blades

cj: i’m not sure that helps

wayne: wait wait wait keep your feet closer together

cj: pulls feet together

wayne: not that close

cj: pushes feet apart

wayne: no i mean you need to keep your center of gravity above the space between your feet

cj: do you really think about physics when ice skating

wayne: you can also bend your knees to keep your center of gravity closer to the ground

cj: ah, just like in every other sport i’ve done

wayne: you’ve done other sports?

cj: i played tennis once, in a past life

wayne: oh

cj: tries going a little more. why is this so hard

wayne: it took me weeks to learn how to skate, you’re doing fine

cj: it doesn’t feel like i’m doing fine

wayne: you know i took a class right

cj: almost falls

wayne: try not to fall

cj: good advice

wayne: no i mean it kinda hurts. like you’re just wearing a shirt

cj: yes

wayne: should’ve worn something warmer

cj: almost slips. god how are you supposed to balance when you have a foot up

wayne: well how do you balance when you walk

cj: i have my other foot on the ground

wayne: yeah it’s the same thing

cj: okay but usually my foot is big and not a tiny line segment

wayne: woah woah don’t lean back too much

cj: so leans forward then?

wayne: no not too forward you’ll fall

cj: maybe i should learn how to fall

wayne: uh

cj: how bad could it be

wayne: once someone i knew went ice skating and fell and then fell out the rink and then down some stairs

cj: why would you put stairs so close to a rink

wayne: i dunno

cj: oh look it’s cami. hi cami

cami: cj!

cj: is this your first time too

cami: yeah, raymond’s helping me

raymond: hi

cj: hi

wayne: hi

cj: why is this so hard

cami: i know right

cj: it’s like, why do i have to use so much brain power to walk

cami: true

cj: okay bye

cami: bye

raymond: bye

cj: skates off, nearly falls

wayne: don’t do that

cj: don’t do what

wayne: that

cj: what

wayne: uh, like your feet, you’re doing it again

cj: gods okay sure

wayne: that’s better

cj: falls. ow

wayne: told you it’d hurt

cj: okay but it didn’t hurt that much. i feel fine

wayne: yeah that wasn’t a bad fall

cj: also do your feet hurt

wayne: mildly. i mean your foot’s been on a thin edge for the last half hour or so

cj: oh god i want to sit down

wayne: ok

cj: sits down. hey is that freddie? hi freddie

freddie: hi cj, hi wayne

wayne: hi freddie

cj: freddie how do you ice skate

freddie: well you put one foot up

cj: uh huh

freddie: and then put it in front of the other

cj: wow

wayne: that’s what i said

freddie: hope that helps

cj: i’m still so terrified when i’m on the ice

wayne: you’re doing fine! you’ve only fallen once

freddie: is this your first time

cj: yeah

freddie: that’s pretty good

cj: it doesn’t feel pretty good

freddie: it’s okay, you have wayne with you

wayne: hi

freddie: he’s canadian

cj: you’re canadian

freddie: you have two canadians!

wayne: uh huh

cj: you’re right, i have the power of canada and anime on my side

freddie: you can do it!

cj: thanks freddie

freddie: skates off

cj: well

wayne: well

cj: …

wayne: …

cj: …

wayne: …

cj: …

wayne: oh look it’s freddie

cj: oh hi again freddie

wayne: wow you lapped us

freddie: i mean it’s not hard when you’re sitting down

wayne: true

freddie: ok bye

cj: bye

wayne: bye

freddie: skates off

cj: ok i’ll get back on the ice. gets on

wayne: nice

cj: okay cj, try gliding. tries it, loses balance

wayne: don’t lean

cj: okay okay okay

wayne: you’re gonna fall if you lean

cj: sigh, why does everyone else make it look so easy

wayne: gee, i dunno, practice

cj: thanks wayne

wayne: no problem

mariah carey’s all i want for christmas begins playing

wayne: oh god i lost the game

this is all a metaphor. good luck with decisions