It’s 2014! by Vincent A. '17
That...that's not a factorial
We begin with certain trivialities.
*Resolution: A firm decision to do or not to do something;
*New Year’s Resolution: On Jan 1, it means: I’ll go the gym starting tomorrow!! And from this week on, I’ll gym 3 times a week. I’ll be strong, fit, the works.
On Jan 2, it means: ahhhhhh, that was today? Well, still gotta enjoy the year. It’s only just begun; can’t be stressing about working out. I’ll start tomorrow.
On Jan 7, it means: Well, the week is up. I’ll definitely start tomorrow.
On Jan 31, it means: Meh, was a busy month; definitely first week of February.
On Feb 20, it means: How did I gain 90 pounds? Aaargh! Gotta start soon.
On April 19, it means: Well I can’t fit through my door but that’s fine, cuz I promised to work out this year, and that I will. Soon!
On August 23, it means: Um…yeah, year is almost over. Might as well start in 2015.
On November 29, it means: Yeah. I…I’m not gonna work out.
On December 30: aaaaaaaaaargh!
On December 31: BEEP! Nada. BEEP! nothing BEEP! Nope. Well, let’s hand it over to the museum. Wait, wait, AAAARGH!!!! IT HAS ITS OWN GRAVITATIONAL PULL!!!! HELP, I’M BEING SUCKED IN! AAAAARGH!!!! BLACKHOLE!!!!
And that folks, is what will happen if you break your resolution this year.
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It’s 2014!
2013 was the year of Wrecking Ball, What Does the Fox Say, the premiere of the Class of 2017, the finale of the class of 2013, the government shutdown, and a host of millions of occurrences, good, bad, unremarkable, all contained within this large timeline that appears to have whizzed by. 2013 is also alliterative, composite, mathematically deficient and bygone, physics experiments on relativity notwithstanding.
For the even slightly sentimental, there might be this feeling that 2014 should open up with some sort of bang—performers at Times Square, raining confetti and showers of fireworks come to mind. I wasn’t quite sure how to start up the New Year. Should I eat till I was blue in the face, run naked through a neighborhood, cuddle a kitten? These lame and not at all self-conscious ideas fell apart at the feet of the simplest solution: write.
Writing is fun. That’s why I do it so much.
Believe it or not, there was a time 2013 was still fresh as that p-set so new you haven’t even thought about it long enough to think about procrastinating about it. And I remember less than three hours into the year, I waxed philosophical in a fairly lengthy essay, pondering if the segue into a new year bore any true meaning or was just a new page on a wall calendar. This year, I’m going into it writing a short, dark, fictional story about new beginnings, which I can send to you via e-mail upon request: [email protected].
Regardless of sentiments, there’s a whole lot to look forward to this year, and a small chance for reflection. This, of course, gives rise to those well-loved and oft-broken resolutions. My resolutions this year are to:
*Write more stories
*Explore more of Boston with my roommate
*Know the people in my dorm better
*Start p-sets earlier
*Make new friends in MIT
*Eat better
*Stay organized
*Hang out with certain people more often
*Hit the gym three times a week, starting Monday.
Can’t believe I typed that last one with a straight face :/
What are your resolutions this year? Any particularly outlandish ones?