jr fall by Phoebe C. '18

quick dispatch from my new room on the first floor of senior haus, just to share how my semester is going.

somehow, 1.5 weeks into classes, i’m already inundated with work–but i’m not complaining. after two years of taking a lot of required/introductory/foundational classes that i wasn’t too thrilled about, i’ve finally reached the promised land, a semester where i am genuinely excited about all of my classes!

i’m in:

14.33 – Research and Communication in Economics

a sort of pre-thesis class, where we will undertake independent research projects in economics. will have to stay focused and not let work from this class pile up, because the work is heavily concentrated in two assignments (a small project and a final project).

18.112 – Complex Analysis

so far i like this class a lot, mostly because it hasn’t ramped up in abstraction yet and because holomorphic functions are beautiful.

14.121/122 – Microeconomic Theory I/II

each of these classes is 6 units (compared to 12 units for a typical one-semester class) and runs for half a semester. i’m especially looking forward to 14.122, which is game theory and takes up the second half of the semester.

in 14.121 today, the professor said, “i’m sorry, i know consumer theory is the most boring thing ever, but hopefully we’re through the worst part now.” i suppose this is my one Foundational Class With Unspectacular Ratings for this semester, but i thought the “most boring thing ever” was kind of cool, so i think i’ll be alright. lots of calculus in both this class and 18.112.

6.867 – Machine Learning

this is my Class I Haven’t Attended Yet Even Though It’s Week 3 Of The Semester. but i have been reading the notes and can confirm i am interested.

CMS.307 – Critical Worldbuilding

a blogger favorite! taught by junot díaz. lots of work–but has already (in a very short period of time) significantly informed and enhanced the way i think about storytelling. i feel comfortable in this class in a way i’ve felt in few other classes.

+ PE (kickboxing) + weekly club meeting(s?) + UROP, soon.

other thoughts

1. last night i went to all-you-can-eat sushi (@yamato, if you haven’t been) with some friends from freshman year, and then i saw my brother, who is applying to grad schools, and then i called my parents, who are looking at houses. lots of moving parts–it feels like not long ago i was reading my brother’s college application essays, but somehow, it’s been four years. i have cousins whom i picture as small children, only to remember that they are starting high school. i’m a junior now, and the people who were juniors when i started MIT have graduated. i have no idea where, geographically, i’ll be in two years (though hopefully in grad school).
2. in the past year, i’ve gained significant perspective on who i am and what it takes for me to be happy. this is a post for another day, maybe, though i think it might be a little self-indulgent to write such a post.
3. i’m not planning to put as much energy into internship recruiting as i did last year; i’m not sure if i even want an internship next summer.
4. the impostor’s sydrome has been extra strong recently–i’ve been thinking thoughts like, “if i go to the gym before i remove my makeup, i can’t make any mistakes or else i will look extra Incompetent And Female,” like “i’m the only person wearing a dress in this room, if i answer a question wrong or make a mistake it’ll just confirm that i am Dumb And Girly,” like “i am horrible at math and especially calculus; i don’t remember anything and i’m sure everyone else does.” at least i’m now able to identify these thoughts and call them nonsensical rather than allowing myself to engage in self-sabotage.
5. i now live in a super quiet place (relative to anywhere i lived in EC, at least), and my walls are white. in spite of the ~*~stuff~*~ happening with senior haus this semester, i really like it–i’m content to be left alone most of the time, and i get to daydream about painting my room, though i’m not sure if i’ll actually go through with it. (i recently stumbled upon these tropical landscapes and felt inspired.) will make a blog post if i do end up painting it!