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MIT student blogger Bryan O. '07

Kiss the Frog by Bryan

Charm School and Nerdy Pick Up Lines. What can I say?

So the annual no-problem-set-fest known as IAP really comes to an end today. Mitra mentioned that on Monday, we have registration day, and then the first day of classes is Tuesday, YIKES!

But I didn’t get through IAP without learning a little bit, at least.

Let’s hop in the TechnoTime Machine and jump back 9 years to when I was in 6th grade, every weekend, I’d spend 4 hours every Saturday at etiquette school trying to learn how to ask a girl for a dance to how to enjoy the whipped cream from my sundae without ending up with my food on my face. It’s almost been a decade since my etiquette training, but fear not, I’ve renewed my Boy Scout Etiquette Badge.

Another snapshot as to why today was also very important, a snapshot of the dinner table (me, my mom, and my three younger brothers)

Me: Did you burp?
Brother 1: It wasn’t me. (To Brother 2) Do you have your elbows on the table?
Brother 2: (Moves elbows off table, quickly) You’re supposed to cut your spaghetti while you’re eating it!
Brother 3: Shut up!
Mom: Do I need to get out Emily Post?

If I had this conversation today, I could safely tell my mom, “No.”

I went to CHARM SCHOOL today.

Charm School is an annual IAP event in it’s 14th year where faculty and staff from all around MIT help members of the community practice better etiquette. There’s a lot to learn, and there are a number of tricks and tips I learned today that I’ve never learned before.

For example, do you want a fail proof way to know which bread and drink are yours?

If you make a “b” with your left hand and a “d” with your right hand, the “b” hand is where your bread is and the “d” hand is where your drink is.

On top of re-learning my table manners, the Ballroom Dance Team was giving rumba lessons.

My friend Yonas practiced some cell phone etiquette.

Laura Stuart was giving lessons on dating and how to let a person know you don’t want a second date.

The Chorallaries performed “Pomp and Circumstance” on the kazoo.

We did arrive at Charm School fashionably late, and unfortunately we did not graduate. We only acquired 1 of the 6 credits required for our Bachelors. On top of not getting my degree, I also missed “Flirting 101” which I could have acquired advanced placement for.

If you want proof, try out one of my nerdy pickup lines.

“Do you have a library card? ‘Cause I’m checking you out.”

“Baby, can I be your DNA helicase? ‘Cause I want to unzip your genes.”

If you can top that, post a comment. I’ll confer you an honorary degree.

19 responses to “Kiss the Frog”

  1. Pam says:

    “I wish I were a derivative, so I could be tangent to your curves.”

    Yay for nerdy pick-up lines!

  2. Mike says:

    your beauty cannot be spanned by a finite basis of vectors.

    you and i add up better than a riemann sum

    i’m not being obtuse, but you’re acute girl

  3. D-Baby says:

    not nerdy, but i like it…

    you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

  4. Shannon says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    That DNA helicase one was too funny. If any guy I know actually knew what helicase was I’d go out with him in a heart beat.

  5. Sam T says:

    lol I heard MIT’s ballroom dancing team is amazing.

  6. Dani says:

    haha… you guys are good

    “Baby, you and I must be two isotopes of deuterium because our fusion is as hot as the sun!”

  7. Nathanael says:

    My gf is actually going to be next year’s math team captain and I’m the current math team captain, and I have to say, some of these actually came up as a joke! Props to Flirting 101! raspberry

  8. Anna Park says:

    DNA is amazing.

    “Are you the square root of two? ‘Cause you’re making me irraaaaaaaational!”

  9. anon says:

    ‘Wow! ur frequency exceeds my threshold frequency.Lovetrons are oozing out from me spontaneously!’

  10. Jane W says:

    Sam T – yes, the MIT Ballroom Dance Team is amazing…..or at least we’re really cool smile

  11. Matt says:

    Hey baby, whats your cosin?

  12. Adrienne says:

    Ahaha, love the pick up lines.

    “The tight pants you wear remind me of how tight my bronchioles become whenever I see you. You literally take my breath away.”

    A bit lengthy, but I tried. smile

  13. Mayur says:

    i think u really ‘ve kissed the frog.

    the frog which is really ugly from the face but good at heart.

  14. Alexandre says:

    There are no “isotopes of deuterium” – deuterium, protium, and tritium are all isotopes of H. smile

  15. Dani says:

    Well, my nuclear chem teacher told us some jokes, and that is how he said it. Since deuterium is an isotope, it is used in a prepositional phrase, not actually as a separate isotope….(I know there are p, d, and t) but at least you knew what I was refering to. English isn’t my strong point..haha. Sry if I offended.

  16. Alli says:

    haha i love the DNA one.

    “if you were sine squared id be cosine squared, cuz together we’d be one”

    “you have tangents in all the right places”

    “is that a calculator in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

    “your curves are so perfect that they are sinusoidal”

    i go to a math, science, and comp. sci magnet, so we hear a lot of these.

  17. Becky says:

    wanna form a triad? wink

  18. Chois says:

    or a diff. version of the derivative one:

    “I wish I were an integral, so I could be in the area under your curves.”

    just don’t think about it too hard now smile

  19. Spif says:

    “Hey baby, you must be a computer programmer, cuz u turn my three-and-a-half-inch floppy into a hard drive”

    I try…