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MIT student blogger Bryan O. '07

My Funny Valentine by Bryan

No kissing on Valentine's Day.

We will first begin with a cartoon from one of my favorite webpages:

And it wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day without:
r = a(1 – cos(theta))

Plot that on your TI-89.

First off, yes, I am a blogging delinquent. Ben Jones, I should be arrested. But in my defense, I have had a viral infection rendering my voiceless and without a desire to eat.

So I think my Valentine’s Day saga should really begin on Sunday.

Me: “Ugggtttthuuuu”
My Roommate: What is that noise?
Me: That’s my throat clearing voice.
My Roommate: That’s not sexy.
Me: Yes, yes I know.

My Roommate: We need a Medlink.

Enter Medlink, Mike.

Medlink Mike: What seems to be the problem?
Me: “Ugggtttthuuuu”.
Medlink Mike: That sounds like you have a throat problem.

Medlink Mike gives Bryan medicine.

Next Morning

Me: “Ugggtttthuuuu”.

Bryan goes to MIT Medical.

Me: I’d like to see my doctor.
Receptionist: What’s the problem.
Me: “Ugggtttthuuuu”.
Receptionist: Oh. There have been a number of you like this recently.
Me: “Ugggtttthuuuu—OH?”.
Receptionist: He’ll see you at 11:40 am.

(Fast Forward)

Doctor: It seems like you have a viral infection. You should take some Robitussin CF and oh yes, “no kissing.”

Bryan walks to La Verde’s in the Student Center to purchase Robitussin CF but they only have the Children’s version, so Bryan opts for Robitussin’s long-lost cousin, Tussin CF.

Fast forward to Wednesday at MIT…

The scene is set. Bryan walks into the Student Center wearing gray and black. Everyone around him is dressed in red or similar shades.

Bryan walks to 2.008: Design and Manufacturing II with best friend, Rob. Outside of lecture stand the MIT Muses who have been serenading unsuspecting individuals all day.

Muse 1: Hi Rob.
Rob: Hi.
Muse 2: We’re here to sing to you.
Rob: Oh okay.

The Muses sing to Rob. Bryan and Rob enter lecture to learn about injection molding.

(It would be unfair of me to just publicize the Muses. The Logs also performed serenades today as well. And the MIT Marching Band also performed band-o-grams.)

Classes end and Bryan trudges through the snow and puddles to the Student Center. His voice recovered but still a little under the weather.

The End

This film goes out to my Valentine who will get her Valentine’s day kiss when I’m no longer sick. :^)

And to all of you, Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

17 responses to “My Funny Valentine”

  1. Alan says:

    I personally like r=1-sinθ better. That way the heart is right side up.

  2. Laura says:

    No WAY!

    Rob was serenaded and I MISSED IT?!

    There is no justice in this world.


  3. Colleen says:

    Maybe you can take comfort in the fact that u weren’t the only one who had a crappy v-day. But I must admit ur r = a(1 – cos(theta)) thingy really did make my day a little better. For a moment I almost forgot

  4. Bryan, that’s known to almost all, how about trying to pot a flower, a rose or a bouquet instead. I tried, but fail, can you please help me?

    Thank you

  5. Meara says:

    Cardiods! Yay! You could even go crazy and graph somebody a rose: r=cos(k*theta). (Or sin(k*theta), if you like that better.)

    But really, anything’s better than the worst math pick-up line ever: “Hey baby, wanna multiply?”

  6. Elizabeth says:

    Serenading is cool. But I have to tell you, our Japanese club totally out-Valentined ASB this year: rather than the boring, frilly, ‘send your friend a valentine via cupid (guy in my grade wearing outfit better on a girl)’ ASB, they did ‘have a ninja deliver a valentine to your friend!’ So randomly throughout the day, a dark, unidentifiable ninja would slink into class, scaring the teacher half to death with the unnoticed creeping. Ninja beats Cupid any day!

  7. Tom says:

    Wow, if I get into MIT, I am definitely joining the marching band. That looks amazing!

  8. Anonymous says:

    Yay for xkcd! What a great webcomic.

  9. José P. says:

    My friend, you are not alone.

    I, too, wore gray and black on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t feel like wearing red, so I went to school in my uniform (). Plus, I’ve had a cold these past few days. It was not as serious as yours, but it was still quite bothersome…

    I’ve found that a little self-indulgence always makes me feel better. That, and some analgesics.

    Best of Luck.

  10. Alyssa says:

    Ah, MIT. The perfect combination of my insatiable thirst for scientific discovery and wild-n’-crazy band geeks…

  11. “And it wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day without:
    r = a(1 – cos(theta))
    Plot that on your TI-89.”<i>

    I’m an HP user, you insensitive clod!

  12. turnef says:

    I like that people understand what you mean to say just by your “Ugggtttthuuuu”.

  13. Solomon says:

    Heeeheeeheee, Turnef I don’t.

  14. Anonymous says:

    Solomon, why not?

    This way in one second you can get more of you across (including your viruses) than spending 15 seconds to relate your story? smile

  15. theresa says:

    here are some other math pickup lines:

    “I wish I was a derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.”

    “If you were sin^2 (x), I’d like to be cos^2 (x) – so we could equal one.”

    (I don’t know if you guys heard these before or not–just thought they’d be cheesy enough to share – :D)

    as far as graphs go, here’s some that make a happy face:
    y1=square root (64-x^2)
    y2= -square root (64-x^2)
    y3= -square root (36-x^2)

    and for the eyes take your TI 83/84 (I don’t know how to do this on the 89):
    click 2nd PRGM (draw function)
    scroll to points,
    click on 1: Pt-On (
    do this for pts (2,2) and (-2,2)
    you can adjust the eyes to your liking, as long as they are opposite on the y-axis.

    :D and can someone clarify this? for the heart/rose, is the calculator supposed to be in a different mode (ie Polar, etc)?

  16. Meara says:

    Oh yeah, graph your polar functions in polar mode. In Cartesian you’ll just get some boring periodic thing.

    I Oh yeah, graph your polar functions in polar mode. In Cartesian you’ll just get some boring periodic thing.

    I <3 my TI-89.

  17. anonymous says:

    Greg – Of course this is an advertisement for Texas Instruments!! (You know they did start from MIT…)