The Xanga Survey by Ben Jones
Mid-summer frivolity, part one.
Mid-summer frivolity, part one…
Instructions: bold everything that is true about you.
01. I have a cell phone. 02. I am addicted to diet coke. 03. I’m the youngest child. 05. I like getting lap dances. 06. I like hair better unwashed. 07. I like techno rock. 08. i share secrets with only one or two people. 09. I can’t live without lipgloss. 10. I can’t live without music. 11. I want to be famous. 12. I spend money i don’t have. 13. I’ll be a kid forever. 14. I’ve seen the Backstreet Boys 2 times. 15. I get annoyed easily. 16. I eventually want kids. (um, too late. -BJ) 17. I wish I had more friends. 18. I have more than a couple horrible memories. 19. I watch Pay-Per-View movies late at night. 20. I am a person. 21. My first kiss was in middle school. 22. I want to go to art school. 23. I love taking pictures. 24. I enjoy girls who are fake. 25. I can be mean when I want to. 26. My dreams are bizzare. 27. I paint boys’ nails. 28. I have way too many purses. 29. I’ve seen Fight Club at least 478614235 times. 30. I dress how I feel when i wake up. 31. I like being visited. 32. Sometimes I cry for almost no reason. 33. I hate when people are late. 34. I procrastinate. 35. I love winter. 36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser. 37. I hate to sleep. 38. I think I am smart. 39. I’m afraid of dying. 40. I hate drama. 41. I am unconventionally sexy. 42. I love my hair. 43. I like to scream only sometimes. 44. I love the beach. 45. I had the chicken pox. 46. I’m excited for the future. 47. I wish i could take control of my emotions. 48. I can’t wait till New Year’s. 49. I am wearing a fake gold ring. 50. I love my friends. 51. Christmas is my favorite holiday. 52. I can be very insecure sometimes. 53. I have been to one or more lifechanging concert(s). 54. I hate what racist people believe. 55. I hate computers. 56. I love guys that play the guitar. 57. I state the obvious. 58. I wish I was at summer camp. 59. I love to dance. 60. I love to sing, even if i can’t. 61. I hate cleaning my room. 62. I tend to get jealous very easily. 63. I love cute underwear. 64. I am thirsty. 65. I cry when I see animals/people getting hurt/abused. 66. I want to go to Greece. 67. I don’t like to study for tests. 68. I believe in my God. 69. I hate food. 70. I have a horrible sense of direction. 71. I love high school. 72. I broke my leg once or twice. 73. I’m tired. 74. I love kisses on my forehead and neck. 75. I like the color pink. 76. I love to sew. 77. I have blue eyes. 78. I have a crush. 79. I would love to travel the whole world. 80. I become stressed easily. 81. I wish on stars. 82. I like comfy sweatpants. 84. I like Xanga. 84. I love dancing in the rain. 85. I love my family. 86. I wish I was cooler. 87. I don’t like myself. 88. I always wanted to learn to play the acoustic guitar. 89. I hate the feeling of failure. 90. i’m a dork, and i love it. 91. I would love to have my own fashion line. 92. I can be quite selfish. 93. I still act like a little kid. 94. Above all, I wish you liked me. 95. I love pictures. 96. I wish I was more motivated when it comes to school. 97. I love getting stuff in the mail. 98. I have problems letting go of people. 99. I hate the feeling of being alone.
You don’t like being visited and you don’t like xanga!?
Pshhhh.
And I know you can’t live without lipgloss, Ben, don’t even deny it.
P.S. I have no idea what happened to #4…
Dear Mr. Jones,
On behalf of a committee of your friends and colleagues, I have been selected to correct a falsehood presented within this posting ( http://ben.mitblogs.com/archives/2006/07/the_xanga_surve.html ).
Your boldening of number eight (#08), implying that the text therein applies to you, is completely BS.
Thank you and have a nice day,
Timur Sahin
Dear Mr. Jones,
I heartily agree with one Mr. Timur Sahin. That is all.
Sincerely,
Laura Nicholson
You know, Ben, Timur and Laura definitely have a point here.
In the phrase “one or two people,” a widely-read blog is not considered to be a person. Go ahead and think what you will, though…
Ooh, what secrets has Ben told that I am not privvy too?
(And I have no idea where number 4 went either!)
Dear Mr. Sahin,
What are you talking about, sir? I am confused.
And Nance says you’re going to be PWNED when we get ourselves around a card table. Enjoy your delusions to the contrary until that time.
Sincerely,
Me
Dear Everybody,
Secrets, secrets, are no fun.
Especially when I’m not part of ’em.
Sincerely,
ms. jkim.
Also, I know you secretly love xanga. Especially mine, since I’ve had it since I was 14 and it has such a terribly 14-year old-teenybopper name that I don’t even know what it means anymore.
Don’t deny it.
Dear Ms. Christina,
It is highly likely no such “secrets” exist, and thus the reason for my appointment and subsequent comment.
Thank you,
Timur Sahin
Dear Mr. Jones,
You know exactly what I am talking about. There should be several people on campus coming to poke fun at you soon.
Please tell Nance that by the time he beats me, he won’t need PhotoShop to have a long flowy grey beard.
Thank you,
Timur
I wonder….how and why everybody has become so “Dear” to everybody in this blog !!