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MIT blogger CJ Q. '23

whiteout conditions by CJ Q. '23

forget your mission, just get out alive

whiteout conditions is a song by the new pornographers, and it’s about depression. ac newman’s lyrics hit deep, with lines like “so you crumbled, you doubled your dosage / you wanna go, said the inhibitor blocking the passage” and “got so hooked on a feeling, i started dealing / in a stage of grief so demanding” and “maybe you riot for nothing—it’s just a bad hand”.

the chorus has been stuck in my head for the last few days, because it’s been such a mood. every morning, i wake up, and i have this vague desire to go to classes and do work. but i don’t actually want to. i wake up and i’m already tired. i no longer know if i want to go to my classes because i genuinely enjoy them, or because of the inertia.

what’s the point? why am i doing all of this?

text "only want to get to work" above drawing of laptop

text: "but every morning i'm too sick to drive", over drawing of someone lying on bed looking at their phone

text: "suffering whiteout conditions", over drawing of someone lying on bed, staring up

text: "forget your mission, just get out alive", over drawing of someone lying on bed, staring in distance

text: "only want to glean the purpose", over drawing of empty bed

text: "only to scratch the surface raise the plow", over drawing of someone sitting in front of laptop

text: "suffering whiteout conditions", over drawing of someone sitting on a chair

text: "forget your mission, just get out somehow" over drawing of someone sitting on chair