whiteout conditions is a song by the new pornographers, and it’s about depression. ac newman’s lyrics hit deep, with lines like “so you crumbled, you doubled your dosage / you wanna go, said the inhibitor blocking the passage” and “got so hooked on a feeling, i started dealing / in a stage of grief so demanding” and “maybe you riot for nothing—it’s just a bad hand”.
the chorus has been stuck in my head for the last few days, because it’s been such a mood. every morning, i wake up, and i have this vague desire to go to classes and do work. but i don’t actually want to. i wake up and i’m already tired. i no longer know if i want to go to my classes because i genuinely enjoy them, or because of the inertia.
what’s the point? why am i doing all of this?