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For love of Baxter by Jess K. '10

A story of love, loss, and catnapping on Burton 1, as documented by my cell phone camera.

From: rich
Subject: LOST CAT
Date: January 22, 2008 1:22:26 AM EST
To: burton1

From: baxterthieves
Subject: We have Baxter
Date: January 23, 2008 1:51:44 AM EST
To: rich
Cc: burton1

Dear Richard,

We have kidnapped Baxter because he smells funny and no one on the floor likes him. If you ever want to see him again, you must meet all of our demands.

The first: Prepare a double layer strawberry and dark chocolate cake, and place it on the dining table of the 132 suite at precisely 12:10 AM on Thursday, January 24th.

Do as we say, or BAXTER DIES!

Love,
-Baxter Thieves

From: rich
Subject: Re: We have Baxter
Date: January 24, 2008 9:06:04 PM EST
To: baxterthieves
Cc: burton1

We have the cake, as requested, in the 132 suite right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASSEE LET HIM GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and have some cake) (and other people too if they want) (it’s pretty much the most amazing cake i’ve ever seen)

From: baxterthieves
Subject: Re: We have Baxter
Date: January 24, 2008 11:48:48 PM EST
To: rich
Cc: burton1

Our demands have been met, we are very pleased with your offering.

The truth is, Baxter never really left you. Search your drawers a little bit harder. Maybe behind all the Ralph Lauren shirts and imported cashmere turtlenecks, you’ll find what you thought you were missing all along…

Love,
-Baxter Thieves

And so, boy and cat were united once again, and Rich cried no longer. “When I first walked into my room on that fateful day,” quoth Rich, holding Baxter protectively in his arms, “I instantly felt that something was wrong. Losing Baxter was like losing your best friend, someone who’s always there for you. A part of me felt missing, at least Pi/3 radians of my heart…It’s great to have him back home, and I would like to thank everyone who helped in the effort to find him.”

40 responses to “For love of Baxter”

  1. kayla says:

    dude. that’s hilarious.

  2. I didn’t get cake either! :(

  3. Sam R. '12 says:

    Aww, good story. i still can’t believe ppl were so mean like that. did u all really knew who was behind this?
    -sam r.

  4. Dr. Catburg says:

    @Cathy

    D-d-d-d-don’t say that! Are you a dog or something??!

  5. Lauren '12 says:

    LOL This is the funniest thing ever. I love cats!!! AND cake! So I thoroughly enjoyed this. Literally laughed out loud.

  6. Vin says:

    Wow, that was just hilarious. @[email protected]

  7. dan says:

    that cake looks sooo good
    i would eat baxter if i could get a piece of that cake

  8. Aditi says:

    Awwwwwww…!

    the cake looks amazing and the Pi/3 radians bit is priceless!

    =)

  9. Cathy says:

    @Dr. Catburg

    i’m not quite a ‘dog’, but i think me and my dawgs agree that that cat has got to go!

  10. Anonymous says:

    Ummm.. I’ve been wondering about this for a while, who or what is the Angela Monster?

  11. @Cathy

    Allright, so now you made my cousin Dr. Catburg cry! Ya happy??!

    @Baxter

    No, but you may haz cheeseburger….

  12. Lulu says:

    Angela Monster WOULD eat a poor, helpless cat :(

  13. Sumaiya says:

    Numnumnum… ah, that was fantastic!

    *wipes tears from eyes* Such a beautiful reunion.

    I want some cake :( It looks fantastic.

  14. Rachel'12 says:

    hahahahahahha

    it looks delicious and moist

  15. Isshak says:

    snif, such an emotional story…I’m happy it has a happy ending…^^’

    Jess, your blog is great !

  16. what a good story. it made me saad when he was catnapped.
    but he’s back! good ending

  17. Libin Daniel says:

    That’s hilarious. Do humans love each other this much??LOL….that was really hilarious.

  18. Anonymous says:

    thats like losing Wilson!!!!!!!!!

    ankit

  19. i can haz cake too?
    and kitteh?
    srsly, you made my day! ^-^

  20. Shruthi says:

    ~Sigh. Poor Baxter~ Glad that they are reunited smile

  21. Hawkins says:

    aaaahahaha, this is great. But I have to admit, the title immediately reminded me of the dog in Anchorman.

  22. Kes says:

    damn, I never got to try that cake

  23. BB says:

    pi/3 radians.

    i love that.

    =D

  24. Cathy says:

    i think baxter should die, well, i mean if he wasn’t already made of straw and inanimate.

    damn cat!

  25. Andrea says:

    That is the prettiest cake I have ever seen, and though it looks really yummy I imagine it must’ve been a painful task to cut it and deface the poor cat…
    Who knew MIT students could cook? I guess if I’m lucky enough to go there I’ll never go hungry…

  26. Anonymous says:

    The cuteness is overwhelming.

  27. A Hipster says:

    Now that’s one deck cake.

  28. E. Rosser says:

    Poor Rich. Your story warms my heart to the absolute extrema.
    And where could the other 5/3 (Pi) of Rich’s heart be if not with his beloved fake cat?!? (Assuming Rich’s heart is circular…)

  29. okay, i don’t get it!!?! why does everybody feel so bad for “the poor old baxter”?!?!! he is made of straw, he smells funny, he’s really really scary looking, and he’s always watching! why don’t people feel bad for the other burton1ers who have to deal with that damn creature every day?? i mean, the cat thieves had some pretty convincing reasoning for stealing him in their initial email. in my opinion, rich needs to learn to live without that wretched creature, or he may one day, grow up to be a ‘cat lady’ erm, in the man form…

    and what if people are allergic to cats? or other small made-of-straw animals?? …or the color orange??

    hmmm…why does everybody always make the theives out to be the bad guy?? i personally think they were doing a good thing!!

    P.S. i am NOT one of the baxter thieves. i was out of town during all these happenings…but you better believe i would’ve been in on it if i were there!!

  30. Isshak says:

    People, if you give me his IP adress, I can track him down wink .

    lol you do know we are just joking around, we don’t know neither the person nor the cat. Although I would be against thieves in general, and would try to solve the situation by talking. But anyway, we weren’t there, so it’s really just a joke.

    Unless Jess was really sad during the whole thing…were you ?

    lol I love these blogs…

  31. Ying Wei says:

    Does this kind of event often happen in other dorms? XD

  32. Sam says:

    I can’t think about anything other than puns after reading this entry.

    “Did you hear about the catnapping in Burton 1?”

    “Oh, it was fine, they just woke him up.”

  33. amrita says:

    omg jess one of the comments is “it looks delicious and moist” ………….

    FAMILIAR?!??!

  34. Cathy says:

    @Ying Wei:

    …only on burton1 !!!

  35. Piper says:

    You have the MOST amusing posts, Jess. I love it!

    Also, the cake is a lie. (Reference, anyone?)

  36. You can’t has your cake and eat it too, but you can halve your cake and eat a half.

    okay, lame, but what about:
    “Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
    –Groucho Marx

  37. omar '10 says:

    now that was funny.
    i now that was funny.
    i <3 my cat so much… i don’t know what i would do if she disappeared. but she’s real… like, she shits and everything.