Some Funnies by Snively '11
An Appetizer
Sorry for the slight gap in entries, this weekend was crazy. I’ve got at least four entries that are in various stages of being writ. I don’t have a whole ton of time for an awesome entry right now, but I do have some time to share some MIT funnies. These are examples of things that are said/done at MIT in the dorms after midnight. Both are 100% true stories.
Shock Monkey
I woke up the other morning and, as I do every morning when I first wake up, I reached blindly for my iPod so I could check my e-mail. There was the typical stuff, comments from blogs, e-mails from MIT groups, some personal stuff, but then there was one from “Michael Snively” sent at 2:30 AM.
“Hm. I don’t remember sending myself an e-mail at 2:30, I wonder what this is?”
I don’t know how many of you are like me in this regard, but mental capacity is not quite at its peak immediately after waking up. Simple tasks like adding the number 9 to 8:00 to figure out when you’ll be buzzed for hitting snooze seems more like this:
Anyway, I click on the e-mail and see this:
Subject: To Blog About A Dream
Body:
Memo to future self:
I probably won’t remember this in the morning, but I just had a really weird dream and I thought I’d write it down so I could blog about it tomorrow. So I was in this lab, with nothing else there but a hundred dollar laptop and a monkey. Except the only thing on the laptop was the Stumble! button. When I pressed the button, the monkey pressed another button in front of him, but I couldn’t tell what the monkey’s button did. As I kept stumbling, the monkey got more and more agitated, but I couldn’t stop stumbling. I couldn’t surf any of the websites; I could only stumble through them, and I couldn’t bring myself to get off the internet. The monkey was writhing around on the ground, but I kept pressing the button, until finally the monkey pressed his button one last time and stopped moving. I realized I’d killed the monkey, but I couldn’t stop stumbling. I stumbled faster and faster, until finally I woke up with a start.
I wonder what it’s supposed to mean?
Remember how confusing the alarm clock seems? Reading an e-mail like this after just waking up is equivalent seeing something like this on a final exam:
I DID NOT remember dreaming this.
I DID NOT remember e-mailing myself.
The e-mail looked perfectly legit, it was sent from my MIT account, had my proper signature, and for all intents and purposes was sent from me. This confused me for a good 20 seconds as I stared at the screen of my iPod, until I remembered something that made all the pieces click into place. I had checked my e-mail on Jordan ’11’s computer that night prior and hadn’t signed off. HA! Mystery solved! I sent this reply:
Remind me never to check my e-mail on your computer again. That poor monkey!
</Monkey Story>
In Talking to a Physics Major
Another night, quite late, I was working on a PSET with Michelle ’11 and Jon ’11 (both of whom I’ve blogged about previously) and Rick ’09 walked in. He was wearing a Google shirt and on the back it said “I’m Feeling Lucky!” I took the opportunity to be snarky (PSETs will do that to you):
“Why are you feeling lucky Rick? How lucky are you feeling, really?
“Really lucky.”
“But Rick, whenever you approach women they run away from you, not towards you. How is that lucky?”
“Simple, they run away from me with a negative velocity.”
*Slaps Hand on Forehead”
</Brutal Fizix Joke>
First?
I love your stories Snively. Every time.
haha dude, I can’t wait to get to MIT!! I want to be accepted so bad! :D Almost there! about a month left! :D BTW your posts are great Snively!
Rick deserves a round of applause.
I’m applying for class of 2012 after getting rejected last year for Class of 2011.Does the admissions comitee have records of all the documents frm my application last year? Would you also take my old teacher’s recommendations from last year or just the new ones .
ROFL, I am going to have to try that on someone!
I second Natasha.
*Peter Griffin giggle*
LMAO! this really made me laugh out loud…wow…thanks for making my day… I am sooo sharing that “fizix” joke with my physics class tomorrow! XD
Ha! Beautiful. I want the Google T-shirt…
Awesome entry! It made me laugh so hard!
So funny, so MIT. Gotta love the tech talk.
wait…since when do ppl start checking emails on ipods?
(30 secs of googling)
(gasps…)alright… I have not been aware of the existence of iPod touch.(being a 12 grader in an ultra-competitive edu. system will do that to you.)
…am i being rejected right away for such horrible untechiness? (that’s probably not a word) Or maybe they’re gonna take me for diversity :D
@Lauren: Hahaha, yeah I love that one. Silly pickup lines are the best, provided they’re done sweetly and not arrogantly =]
I love being snarky!
Snively, awesome post, however the title “Some Funnies”, is redundant.
We already expect some funny stuff in your blog entries. Your personality now precedes you:)
I hope you never run out of material. Keep up the good work.
Rick is awesome..Lol…You too are awesome..Great post..
I went to school in my bathroom slippers!!!!
(seriously not joking !!) Man ! was I the joke of the day!!
Ah!! Sweet memories. They always stay with you !
Just imagine… Snively misses what “made all the pieces click into place”. And he blogs about the monkey dream, much more elaborately. And then Jordan tells the whole world what actually happened, say, by posting a little comment here!
i started differentiating that sum before i remembered it was integration..
shows how much sleep i need
I like how you combined the question mark with the image of a girl…are girls really that mysterious?
omg, that link you posted in the word “appetizer” is KICK-ASS. Mmm bacon…
“girls running away with negative velocity!”…hahahaha…:D
Truly MIT.
But what happened to the monkey?!
Nice physics joke.
“Simple, they run away from me with a negative velocity.”
Hahaha, best comeback.
Hysterical!!! And what does Rick call that “The Rick Effect”. Wonder what a Microsoft T would say now…”I’m feelin’ itchy??Yahooo!!!”
On a serious note guys. Just came across this TR artcle
http://www.technologyreview.com/article/20253/
Check that out!! MIT OCW goes High School!! And then go to the OCW For High School Home Homepage
ocw.mit.edu/OcwWeb/hs/home/home/index.htm
Check this out for some some superb resources for Phy, Calculus and Bio. Though primarily for AP, its helpful for all HS Curriculums.
Isn’t it super cool?? I wish I could’ve graduated 4 years late. MIT does it again…Truly the pioneer.
Hail MIT… GOD!! I so wanna be @ MIT!!!
I’m punting (from an awful awful reading) by reading this, and believe me, you have made me feel like going to work right know. Great stories!
Rick has made me to remember that I should change my coordinate system ASAP… no, now…
I guess the Microsoft T should say…
“I’m feeling itchy (for) Yahoo!!”
I wish that was a pickup line so I could add it to my collection
Samujjal:
OMG OCW for high-schoolers! Amazing. I love OCW!! Eeee Samujjal:
OMG OCW for high-schoolers! Amazing. I love OCW!! Eeee <3 physics lectures! Thanks for posting that! :-D
And Snively, really enjoyed your entry. Literally laughed out loud at the physics joke. Also I’m currently at the “library where sound dies”, heh. Can’t wait to actually be here as a real MIT student rather than as an invader…
Raina: If you want a physics pick-up line, I came up with one last year – ironically enough, it was an “activity” we did on the last day of my Sunday AP physics class at MIT (taken through Delve @ ESP – esp.mit.edu…). Hehe it’s kind of silly (but aren’t pick up lines always?): “Hey baby, let’s have a perfectly inelastic collision!”
Wow, Snively, whoever says that your reputation precedes you is correct….I kept hearing in chatrooms and facebook groups about you, and today was the first time I read any of your blogs….ahem. I’ll be doing that more often now ^__^.
Hehe, I’m going to try that monkey thingy on someone….though……must hijack password first….*looks at raised eyebrows*…what…..? I mean, I’m already up really late into the night most of the time, so that shouldn’t be a problem. Would be a nice break between fizix hw…..*ponders*
Also, agreed with Natasha ^__^.
@Reg: I do that on tests…..hmmm, if we get this much sleep in high school, how much will we manage at MIT? O.o….
(-(x^3)/2)(e^((1/x)^2))
Well played, Rick.
Oops, the answer above makes no sense at all. Please ignore.
Is that integrable?
“They run away from me with negative velocity” – Now, that was a classic :D
LOL! I love the first one. Reminds me to never leave my email logged in when checking my email at MIT. Or anywhere public for that matter
AHAHAHHAAH hilarious!!
hahahaha, I love MIT. I love you all.
Especially Snivelus and his blag.
Rick is the man.
Not that I successfully integrated the thingy, but what Joe and others seem to forget using ‘logic’ is that when e^(x^-2) is inegrated to, say, give function g(x), g'(x)= e^(x^-2)…OBVIOUSLY, then, g(x) cannot be (-2x^-3)e^(x^-2), for differentiating this expressions does not give only e^(x^-2)
By all logic the answer would be (-2x^-3)e^(x^-2)
but my calculator says its impossible.