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MIT student blogger Allan K. '17

actual conversations i have definitely had with freshmen during orientation by Allan K. '17

FROSH: where do you live?

ME: east campus! i love it a lot, actually, there’s so many cool —

FROSH: isn’t that the …you know … clothing optional … dorm?

ME: …

FROSH: seems kinda dirty too

ME: …

FROSH: i mean the roller coaster’s pretty cool

FROSH: but i would never live there

FROSH: because

FROSH: you know

ME: yes

ME: we are always naked and none of us shower ever

ME: beware

ME: resistance is futile

* * *

ME: hi i’m allan

ME: how’s it going

FROSH: cool

ME: cool

ME: have i told you about my a cappella group yet

* * *

FROSH: is this east campus

ME: no it’s fred

FROSH: but

ME: fred

* * *

FROSH: so where do you live?

ME: east campus

FROSH: oh cool!!!!! wow east campus is so cool and i can’t believe this roller coaster and wow

ME: omg yeah i know right??

FROSH: what hall do you live on?

ME: 5th west

FROSH: oh i don’t know anything about 5w

ME: we have a lot of cats

* * *

ME: hey do you like singing

FROSH: yeah i guess

ME: have you thought about joining an a cappella group

FROSH: uh–

ME: specifically mine

FROSH: well

ME: you should come to auditions

ME: no experience required

ME: we’re definitely not a cult

* * *

ME: so where are you from

FROSH: minnesota


FRIEND FROM MINNESOTA: i’m from minnesota

FRIEND FROM MINNESOTA: where in minnesota are you from

FRIEND FROM MINNESOTA: what high school did you go to

FRIEND FROM MINNESOTA: do you know katie

FRIEND FROM MINNESOTA: katie’s also from minnesota

* * *

ME: so what’s up

FROSH: just waiting for a burger

ME: yeah those burgers are pretty good

FROSH: yeah i haven’t eaten anything else today

FROSH: this is my fifth

ME: child

FROSH: i felt bad for not eating vegetables

ME: good

FROSH: so i’m switching off between meat burgers and veggie burgers

ME: child

FROSH: i love east campus

ME: …

ME: yeah me too

* * *

ME: [walking somewhere at night]

GROUP OF FROSH: [whispering]

ME: need help?


ME: …


ME: …

ME: orange tours are that way

* * *

ME: so how’s orientation going

FROSH: good

ME: you guys go to that…orientation thing…yet…?

FROSH: no we skipped it

* * *

ME: are you going to the activities midway

FROSH: uh…

ME: the thing with all the clubs

FROSH: oh yeah

ME: cool what things are you gonna check out

FROSH: well i was looking at the a cappella groups

ME: omg

FROSH: there are so many wtf

ME: yeah there’s eleven

FROSH: weird

FROSH: anyway i was just gonna check out the logs they seem really cool

ME: ok

ME: but have you considered auditioning for other groups too

FROSH: well

ME: specifically mine

ME: the toons

FROSH: what’s like

FROSH: your thing

ME: what

FROSH: like what do you sing

ME: music

* * *

FROSH: so what do you major in

ME: aerospace engineering

FROSH: oh wow

FROSH: so do you like planes

ME: no

* * *

FROSH: hey

ME: hey

FROSH: can i have my hair dyed

ME: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FROSH: …….

ME: yes of course

ME: welcome to east campus

ME: come

ME: let me take you to shallow goodale

ME: the best salon in boston

ME: open 24/7

ME: for all your dyeing needs

ME: find us on yelp

ME: we do haircuts too

* * *

FROSH: so what do you major in

ME: comparative media studies

FROSH: oh cool

ME: yeah

FROSH: what is that

* * *

FROSH: wait are you a blogger

ME: some have called me that

FROSH: yeah you’re allan k right

ME: that is me

FROSH: wow

ME: wow

FROSH: i liked your post about…like…the thing

ME: thanks

FROSH: do you know selam

ME: omg yes

FROSH: omg she’s so cool i read all her posts

FROSH: also lydia

FROSH: i love them

FROSH: they’re why i applied to mit

ME: i know right???

* * *

FROSH: so what year are you

ME: i’m a senior

FROSH: oh wow

FROSH: so you’re probably pretty jaded huh

ME: uh

FROSH: you just have that look

ME: excuse me

FROSH: you’re probably just here to feed on our youthful energy


FROSH: before you crawl back into your den

FROSH: to cry about your future




ME: so hey do you like singing

* * *

FROSH: so what’s the november rule

* * *

ME: so where are you temped

FROSH: one of the frats

ME: oh cool

FROSH: are you in a frat

ME: no


ME: well i’m in the toons


ME: we’re more of a sorority though

* * *

ME: how’s it going






ME: ok cool good talk

ME: see you around i guess

* * *

FROSH: so what are all the course numbers anyway

ME: oh

ME: well course 1 is civil and environmental engineering

ME: course 2 is mechanical

ME: course 3 is materials science

ME: course 4 is architecture they’re really hardcore

ME: course 5 is chemistry

ME: course 6–

FROSH: oh yeah i know what course 6 is

ME: of course you do

* * *

ME: in french they don’t say “roller coasters” they say “montagnes russes” which means “russian mountains” and i think that’s beautiful