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MIT blogger Elizabeth C. '13

We now interrupt our regularly-scheduled programming… by Elizabeth C. '13

I tried getting ahead on my reading assignments but that only lasted so long.

Just so you all know, I’m working on a new Q&A video. Thanks for your questions, I feel loved.

Special shout-out to my midwest friends. Hope you’re surviving the snow! Speaking of snow, we’ve gotten a ton of it. This morning I got to go to class as it rained ice (yes, ICE) because even though the Institute was on “lateness excused” policy and some morning classes got cancelled, my 9:30 am 7.05 (biochem) class was still on.

Speaking of 7.05 (how am I so good at these segues?), I told Chris P. about something mildly funny that happened this morning and then I was all, “Why am I telling you this? I should blog about it.” and then he was all, “You should not only blog it but illustrate it scene by scene” (how am I so good at telling stories?). Peterson, be careful what you wish for…

Whoever writes a comment that makes me laugh the hardest will get the scrap paper upon which I doodled this. Seriously, I’ll mail it to you. But you’ve got to make me cackle.

44 responses to “We now interrupt our regularly-scheduled programming…”

  1. DanielG says:

    If only I could find a relevant xkcd (Mr. Munroe is a physicist and not a chemist), I could post it and win the title.

    But maybe my comic has to be intrinsically funny. Can we link to outside funniness? Or would the kittens take over the world?

    If the lolzkittens are positively charged, they might be cations.

  2. DanielG says:

    I went and found the only two jokes that have ever made me laugh:

    My dad was a pistol. So that makes me a son of a gun!

    *

    How many forum members does it take to change a light bulb?

    1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
    14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently
    7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
    1 to move it to the Lighting section
    2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section
    7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs
    5 to flame the spell checkers
    3 to correct spelling/grammar flames
    6 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” … another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
    2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is “lamp”
    15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that “light bulb” is perfectly correct
    19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum
    11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
    36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty
    7 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs
    4 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL’s
    3 to post about links they found from the URL’s that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group
    13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add “Me too”
    5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy
    4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”
    13 to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”
    1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

  3. Katherine says:

    A Higgs boson walks into a church. The priest says, “Your kind isn’t welcome here.” The boson replies, “You can’t have mass without me!”

  4. Gina '14 says:

    I was there, and yes, it was mildly amusing =D

  5. RM'11 says:

    Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells her that in a few minutes, after his friend has returned, he will call her over and ask her a question. All she has to do is answer “one third x cubed.” She repeats “one thir–dex cue?” He repeats “one third x cubed.” She asks, “one thir dex cuebd?” “Yes, that’s right,” he says. So she agrees, and goes off mumbling to herself, “one thir dex cuebd…”. The first guy returns and the second proposes a bet to prove his point, that most people do know something about basic math. He says he will ask the blonde waitress an integral, and the first laughingly agrees. The second man calls over the waitress and asks “what is the integral of x squared?”

    The waitress says “one third x cubed” and while walking away, turns back and says over her shoulder, “plus a constant!”

    http://www.ams.org/notices/200501/fea-dundes.pdf

  6. '15 says:

    Mitosis cold. Then I put on some socks.

  7. Danielle says:

    Gold walking into a bar and the bartender says, “A u! Get out of the bar!”

  8. Kim says:

    How do you stop an elephant from charging? You take away his credit card! HAHA

  9. A blonde girl decides to tell her long time boyfriend her dream.
    Blonde girl:Hun,I want to go to the sun
    Hun:But u’ll get burnt
    Blonde girl:Dont be silly.i’ll go durimg the nigt.

  10. Anonymous says:

    I’ve seen that Star Trek episode

  11. Anthony says:

    Q: What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
    A: A ferrous wheel:
    Fe – Fe
    / Fe Fe
    /
    Fe – Fe

    Or

    Why are He, Cm and Ba known as the medical elements? Because when treating a patient, if you can’t Helium, and you can’t Curium, then you’re gonna have to Barium.

    Oh my Chemistry, you make my day brighter.

  12. Worgus says:

    i no it long but its funny.

    Pastor went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a dead mule in the church yard. He telephoned the police. Since there did not appear to be any foul play, the police referred the Pastor to the Health Department. They explained, “Since there was no health threat you’ll need to call the Sanitation Department.” When the pastor called the Sanitation Department, the Manager of the Sanitation Department said, “I can’t pick up that dead mule without authorization from the mayor. The Pastor was not at all too eager to call the mayor, who possessed a very bad temper and was always extremely unpleasant and hard to deal with, but, eventually, the Pastor called the mayor anyway. The mayor did not disappoint the Pastor. The mayor immediately began to rant and rave. After his continued rant at the pastor, the mayor finally said, “Why did you call me any way? Isn’t your job to bury the dead?”
    The pastor paused for a brief prayer, and asked the Lord to direct his response. The lord led the pastor to the words he was seeking, “Yes, Mayor, it IS my job to bury the dead, BUT I always like to notify the next of kin first!”

  13. Dakilica says:

    It’s obvious that all Course 7 profs wear checkered dress shirts because MIT uses undercover uniforms for its chess team..

  14. Andrew says:

    A computer scientist and a physicist go to a gym together. The computer scientist is a hunky bachelor who easily benches 200lbs. The physicist is a frail academic who can barely lift 100lbs. Noticing the computer scientist’s sneer, the physicist snaps, “Big difference – we’re lifting on the same order of magnitude.” But the computer scientist responds confused, “What do you mean? I’m lifting an entire order of magnitude more than you are!”

  15. Why do you guys all just assume I only laugh at nerdy jokes? What gave you the slightest impression that I’m the slightest bit of a geek?

    I mean really?

  16. Aww it wouldn’t let me post my HTML joke because the comment box actually thought I was coding.

    (I meant to say that I was just kidding in that last comment.)

  17. Corey says:

    Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
    A: Chickens hadn’t evolved yet.

  18. MG '15 says:

    dunno how funny this is but this is one of the nerdiest pick up lines ever:

    If you wer sin^2(x) and I were cos^2(x) then together we’d be one

    XD

  19. Ari says:

    In response to your post questioning our nerdy jokes: you go to MIT.

    with that, two good ones I heard recently:
    A tachyon walks out of a bar. The bartender says we don’t serve your kind here. The tachyon walks into the bar.
    similarly
    A superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says we don’t serve your kind here. The superconductor leaves with no resistance.

    And a link to a favorite strip of a favorite webcomic:
    http://hipsterhitler.com/archive/02-juice/

  20. Okay, okay!

    Maita wins. But because she is my hallmate and BFFle, I will give the prize to runner-up…KATHERINE. Expect an e-mail soon.

  21. Frank says:

    bwahahha I think Ari wins

  22. Nikita says:

    Oh man! Looks like I’m too late!!
    @Elizabeth: Please tell me how you manage to create the best doodles I have ever seen (I love them!), pay attention in class and take down the neatest notes all at once! How do you do it?!

    @Katherine: Congratulations!!

    @Maita: Congrats to you too!

  23. Nikita says:

    Oh man! Looks like I’m too late!!
    @Elizabeth: Please tell me how you manage to create the best doodles I have ever seen (I love them!), pay attention in class and take down the neatest notes ever, all at once! How do you do it?!

    @Katherine: Congratulations!!

    @Maita: Congrats to you too!

  24. Andrew says:

    a duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “hey bartender, got any bread?” The bartender says no. Five minutes later the duck asks the bartender, “hey bartender, got any bread?” The bartender says no. Five minutes later the duck asks the bartender, “hey bartender, got any bread?” the bartender says, “Ask me that one more time and i’ll nail your beak to the bar.” Five minutes later the ducks asks the bartender, “Hey bartender got any nails?” “Nope” “Got any bread”

  25. Maita '13 says:

    Pants. Huge, stretchy pants.

    …it’s worth a try.

  26. A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

    The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into the ocean. Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

    The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean. He too, never returned.

    The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, “The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water”.

  27. also: and ACTUAL question my physics professor put as the last question on my more recent test as extra credit –

    Describe the universe and whether or not it was a good idea to begin with.

  28. There was a young lady named Bright,
    Whose speed was far faster than light.
    She left one day
    In a relative way,
    And returned home the previous night!

  29. Worgus says:

    Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
    One says, “I think I’ve lost an electron.”
    The other says, “Are you sure?”
    The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”

  30. Dakilica says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8X09Nmftos

    ^ Now if this doesn’t make you cackle, you Madam have no sense of humor. smile

  31. I would like to thank you for imparting your competence and the time to this post. This is the most significantly post that I’ve ever seen. Good work and much success in your interest. Two Thumbs up!

  32. I would like to thank you for imparting your competence and the time to this post. This is the most significantly post that I’ve ever seen. Good work and much success in your interest. Two Thumbs up!

  33. GoodOldTimes says:

    Nifty way to get a collection of web humor with a geek bent. Heck it even attracted a spam bot (Or a strange human pretending to be one)

  34. Carrie says:

    An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a mug of beer. The second orders half a mug. The third orders a quarter. The bartender says, “Oh, heck,” and pours two glasses. :p

  35. Mandi N says:

    One day in history class in the 9th grade, we were talking about revolutions around the world. We touched upon the Haitian one against Toussaint L’Ouverture, and the Mexican one and one person says, “oh that’s Cingo de Mayo right”? And my friend raises her hand and says “Which day of the year is Cingo de Mayo?” The whole class errupted in laughter. To this day, we still mock her. xP (And to this day…I still do not know what a holla back girl is…)

  36. hacker says:

    whats with all the bar jokes???
    In fact I’ve just thought of one now.

    A Man Walks Into A Bar And Says “Ouch”

  37. Brian says:

    The tachyon leaves. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.” A tachyon walks into a bar.

  38. anon '14 says:

    Do you/did you ever draw or do art aside from these doodles?

  39. Adhiraj says:

    1 day a mom was out, so, Dad was in charge of their 3 year old daughter who was playing with her new Tea set.

    Dad was engrossed in the news when she brought a little cup of Tea which was actually water. Her Father appreciated her for the tea.After several cups of tea & lots of praise for such yummy tea ,mom came home.

    Dad made her wait to watch their little girl bring him a cup of tea.
    Mom watched patiently & then asked the proud dad,’Dear! Have u realised that the only place she can reach to get water is the “Toilet Seat”:-D?’

  40. William says:

    Here’s a joke:
    A doctor was examining a mental patient.
    Doctor: What will happen to you if I cut of your ear?
    Patient: Then I will become deaf.
    Doctor: Hmm, that’s normal. Then what will happen if I cut off your other ear?
    Patient: Then I will not be able to see.
    The doctor became worried, and asked the patient why.
    Patient: Because my spectacles will fall off…

    Here’s another joke:
    Bugs fly in through open Windows.

  41. Mom out west says:

    I really enjoy your doodles, and the responses to this post are so many awesome nerdy jokes that I am sharing with friends. Hope that’s OK w/ you.

  42. Alison says:

    Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says, “It’s hot in here.” The other muffin replies, “Whoa, a talking muffin!”