Knife fight with a biker gang by Laura N. '09
Best blog entry EVER. If you think I'm kidding, let me just say: Gory photos (of me) inside! (Not directly visible for the benefit of the squeamish among you...)
I had all these entries planned for the next few days, but all of that is going to have to take a back seat in order for me to document to the entire world Laura Nicholson’s Funtime Adventure to the Emergency Room.
So there I was, walking down the street, minding my own business, when I saw this mean old biker gang beating up some poor elementary school kid for his lunch money. Well, I couldn’t stand for that, so I jumped in to the kid’s defense and started roundhouse kicking those bikers to a bloody pulp with my awesome newfound kickboxing skills. I’d almost finished them off when the second to last one snuck up behind me and pulled a razor blade! I had just finished off his buddy and turned around to face him when he sliced me in the face! Then I beat him up and kicked him once while he was on the ground, just for good measure.
I saved that poor little kid’s life, you know?
Wanna see pictures?!
OK, so maybe you want to know what actually happened first. *sigh* I hate having to go into this, because the actual story is way less cool. In fact, it’s pretty freaking lame. And maybe even a little pathetic. It’s one of those accident stories of the “who does that?” variety.
P.S. When I first read the title of your post, I thought you were going to make a reference to the scene in Veronica Mars where Logan was attacked by the PCHers on the Coronado Bridge.
That’s actually exactly where the reference came from. When I got back from the hospital I was telling the freshmen in my suite about how the story behind my accident is really lame and how I needed to come up with something cooler to tell people. Laura ’10 (yeah, my next door neighbor is named Laura. And there are also two Laurens on the floor as well. Yeah, it’s confusing), who is also a huge Veronica Mars fan, said, “Ooh! Tell people it was a knife fight with a biker gang!”
Anyway, one part is true- I did save a life. At least, I hope I saved a life. That would make the story a whole lot better…
At 12:30 PM on Thursday I made my way from 2.007 lecture to the second floor of the student center, where the American Red Cross was holding a blood drive. I’ve proudly donated blood several times in the past, after which I hopped up off the table and went about my daily life without even the slightest dizzy spell. But Thursday was just not my day.
I gave my donation and as soon as I had finished I was directed over to the recovery table they’ve set up where they make you sit and drink lemonade and eat cookies for 15 minutes under supervision before they let you go back out into the world. I sat down in the chair and felt my vision go a little fuzzy. The friendly student volunteer was asking me what t-shirt size I wanted, but I could barely answer, since it was taking all of my mental capacities to open my bag of chocolate chip cookies and stay conscious at the same time.
The next thing I remember is lying on the floor with one of the red cross nurses leaning over me, telling me that I had just donated blood and passed out. Oh, and that by the way, in case you taste blood in your mouth, it’s because you bit your lip.
I was still all disoriented and whatnot, but I could definitely taste the blood. As more of my mental capacities came back, I slowly began to notice that not only did I taste blood, but that I sensed what seemed like a big chunk missing from my inner lip. “Oh no,” I groaned, as one of the nurses babbled into a cell phone that she needed an ambulance at the MIT student center. I vaguely wondered if she’d dialed 911 or the MIT Campus Police, but I had more important things to worry about. Like the way I’d scraped up the inside of my lip. One of the nurses came over with a mirror to show me what had happened. There was only a thin red line just below my lower lip. But wait. If I’d scraped the inside of my lip, and there was also blood on the outside of my lip…
As it turns out, this month’s blood drive is actually a blood battle between MIT and Caltech. If anyone running this event is reading, I petition that MIT should totally get an automatic win because I BIT ALL THE WAY THROUGH MY LOWER LIP for the sake of donating blood on Thursday. How’s that for school spirit? Blood on concrete and all that.
My free blood drive t-shirt. I shall treasure this forever.
I guess I had my lower lip between my teeth…for some reason (hey, I don’t remember, I was unconscious, okay? it doesn’t really make sense to me either…) and when I fainted I smacked my chin on the floor, which drove my teeth….well, you get the idea.
Anyway, several minutes later, no ambulance had shown up. “Doesn’t this campus have their own ambulance?” someone asked. (I think that because the blood drive was sponsored by the Red Cross, they called their supervising facility and perhaps didn’t dial 911 directly, which would explain the problem.) Of course, being a member of MIT-EMS, the student-run campus ambulance, I knew all about how that worked. For all my joking about how if I was ever sick or injured, I’d check to see who was on shift before calling for an ambulance…”Did you call 911 or the campus police?” I asked. Someone told me that they called 911, so I explained, “Well if you call 911 you get the state police, who redirect it to Cambridge, who dispatches from who only knows where. You need to call the MIT PD to get the campus ambulance, which, ironically, I am a member of.” [Yeah, this is a stupid system. We’re working on it, I promise.] The nurse with the cell phone called the MIT Police, who notified the crew on shift, who happened to be eating lunch 100 feet away in the student center dining hall the ENTIRE TIME. Seconds later, my two best friends in the service strolled into the room.
All together now, everyone say “aww!”
The look on their faces when they recognized me were pretty priceless, but it was a lot of fun. I started rambling off the answers to their questions without waiting for them to actually ask them before one of them told me to shut up already and let him handle it. We have a close and loving relationship that way. =)
They packed me up and took me out to the ambulance on the stretcher. It was possibly the most surreal experience ever. You’d think that getting a lights and sirens ambulance ride to the hospital would be somehow exciting, but it was actually really anitclimatic for me. The whole ride there I joked with my friends about not dropping the stretcher or screwing up my vital signs.
The third rider on the shift was one of the new (not yet certified) EMTs from the class JKim just took. They ironically asked me if I minded if she took some vitals for practice. Of course I said I didn’t mind. As the other EMTs started writing up the form they’re required to make every call, I gave the new third rider tips on how to hold the stethoscope while taking blood pressure and explained to her how to use to the pulse oximeter with a patient wearing dark nail polish like I was.
All in all, it was a rather enjoyable experience. It didn’t feel like an emergency at all. I was just taking a ride with some friends in the ambulance we drive around in all the time. No big deal.
Oh, except for the thirty (!) stitches they gave me at the hospital.
I called my mom to tell her what happened, and of course she wanted me to take some pictures with my camera phone and message them to her. What did people do before cell phones, really? Well, I’ve uploaded some of the pictures I took in the ER and will provide them to you all for your entertainment.
Some of them aren’t that bad, just me with some blood on my chin. Others are um…kind of gross. Actually, some of them are really gross. So by clicking the link below you agree to not hold me accountable if you pass out because you decided to be an idiot and look at the pictures even though you know you hate the sight of blood, ok? (For the record, I personally don’t find the pictures that gross at all. In fact, I think they’re kinda cool. There’s totally nastier stuff in my EMT book. But you probably understand that I want to be cautious and not make anyone sick. Actually, when I showed Ben Jones the photos, he was like “Um, put some big disclaimers in, ok?”)
Here’s what I looked like after the stitches:
First, there was the hole they prick in your finger to take a blood sample before you donate. Then of course there’s the hole from where I donated blood. Then there’s the hole from when they pricked my finger at the hospital to check my blood sugar. Oh, and then they drew more blood at the hospital (in my other arm, of course). Plus the tetanus shot they gave me, and the novacine before the stitches, and oh yeah, the big ?&^*&>@?! hole in my lip that landed me there in the first place.
Here’s what I looked like when I got back from the hospital:
That’s what I thought.