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Blog / Academics & Research
我没去过北京 在外国出生的孩子的故事
(Read the English version here!) 我没去过北京。我们回中国去的时候，总是去上海、南京、杭州，总是在江苏一带。我记得，我小的时候还能说上海话（我三、四岁的时候，外婆照顾我，我就学了上海话）。 我第一次去中国是四岁的时候。我们到了上海就去我亲戚的家了。我只有一个清楚的记忆：有一天，我阿姨要让我小睡一下。她告诉我，“如果你不睡觉，叔叔会切掉你的鼻子！”。 我还不知道这个记忆是真实的还是来自我的梦，可是我知道以前我就会说上海话，可是现在回想起这个记忆，是英文的。 我小的时候，我妈妈经常告诉我，“我们上海人”。这个句子在上海话里面是个口头禅，而且听起来不像普通话。我觉得很棒，常常自己说，“我们上海人，我们上海人”。 我小的时候，我爸爸也会用阿姆哈拉语(埃塞俄比亚的语言)告诉我，“我们是埃塞俄比亚人” 。我也觉得这句子很棒，常常自己用阿姆哈拉语说，“我们埃塞俄比亚人，我们埃塞俄比亚人”。 我去学校的时候，老师告诉我们 “我们是美国人”。可是，我自己觉得，我不是美国人的样子。我自己跟别人自我介绍，就会说，“你好，我叫周婕。我是一半中国人，一半埃塞俄比亚人。” 那时候，移民的孩子分成两种。第一种不喜欢父母的文化，或者想跟美国孩子一样。他们不喜欢吃妈妈做的菜，不喜欢学父母的语言。第二种很喜欢自己家人的文化，跟别的移民孩子玩。那时候，我以为只有这两种，没有什么中间的。 我们呢？我和我弟弟好像是第二种，可是，我们是在丹佛长大的，没有人跟我们一样。这不是丹佛的问题，虽然丹佛的人口不太多样化，但其实，世界上很少人跟我们一样，是一半中国人，一半埃塞俄比亚人。 (去年夏天，我妈妈，弟弟和我弟弟的朋友去中国旅行。我弟弟的朋友也是一个移民的孩子，他是一半中国人，一半美国然） 我们去上海的时候，虽然我可以说“我是上海人”，但是人们常常盯着我和我弟弟。我渐渐长大，也越来越怕跟别的中国人讲话。我会说、写中文，可是，我怕我的中文说得、写得不太好，别人就会笑我。我觉得别人不相信我真的是中国人，总是只看我皮肤的颜色。 特别是在地铁上。不管什么地方，在地铁上，人们都会盯着我们看。我六岁的时候，有一次在上海的地铁上，一位女士盯着我和我妈妈，说，“这个妈妈真不称职呀！她怎么可能让那么小的孩子烫头发？？” 她不知道我是一半非洲人，所以我的头发是自然卷。 在麻省理工学院，我上一门中国电影的课。有一天，我们看了一部电影，叫《苏州河》。《苏州河》的取景在上海。我看到上海的样子，真得非常感动。我意识到，我六年多没回中国去了，而且从来不是一个人去中国。我就又苦又甜地回想起了我们以前去中国的记忆。 （上海的苏州河） 有一次，我们在一个南京公寓住了一个月。我觉得这样好象我们才是真的住在南京。我跟我妈妈、弟弟去商店买东西，然后回来煮菜、吃饭。我跟弟弟去公寓楼的游泳池玩。我们还去看夫子庙，还有南京的夜市。我也经常跟我的表姐玩了，有时也和我妈妈的朋友的孩子一起玩。那个夏天让我真的爱上了江苏，特别是南京。 我问我妈妈怎么说，“对不起，我是美国人，不会说中文”。这样，如果别人问我问题我听不懂就可以这样回答。可是后来我觉得这句子是错的。我要改成：“对不起，我是外国出生的，不会说中文”。因为，我心里还觉得，我是中国人。 我是上海人。我是埃塞俄比亚人。我是一个世界的孩子。这样的孩子不太多，我们的生活挺难的。可是，我为自己感到自豪。 感谢我的中文老师, 张锦。她帮我改正这个博客文章。感谢我自己的妈妈，她也帮我改正这个博客文章，也总是让我和我弟弟学到中国的语言、历史、文化。 -
Blog / How to Human
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Blog / Academics & Research
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